Psychotherapy, Psychotherapy, Psychotherapy..that's what they wanna give me! I can't get that damn Ramones song outta my head..I have been singing it under my breath for like 15 minutes now at work..wonder if anyone has noticed. Speaking of therapy. I'd like to go to a hypno-therapist. I have always wanted to be hypnotized. I wonder if I am one of those people that can't be. I could almost see that being that case because I have a real hang up about "losing control" (hence..my bad reactions when smoking pot, tripping, etc.)..I'd really like to try it, though. Has anyone that reads this had it done? Tell me about it! I imagine those black and white Optical spirals, spinning and spinning and spinning..I think I just hypnotized myself! For some reason I am now thinking of my ex-husband. I don't know what the association is here, but I'm thinking about "the psychedelic glove" incident. I had this pair of winter gloves that were, well..really colorful and Psychedelic and he used to put one on (sort of a Michael Jackson thing goin' on w/this) and we would sing this stupid song we made up about "yea, baby..slap my ass with your psychedelic glove" (this is before Austin Powers, mind you). It cracked us up everytime (I have the most retarded sense of humor on this earth!)! Well, one day he put on the Psychedelic Glove and attempted to do a handstand on the carpet with it and well..you guessed it..he feel on his shoulder (that he had already dislocated a few times before) and dislocated his shoulder...we had to go to the charity hospital, Harborview, where they take all the nasty gun shot wounds, drug ODs, etc..it is so creepy there. can you imagine: Doctor "So tell me, son, what did you do to dislocate your shoulder?" ROB: "Well Doctor, I was doing a handstand while wearing the psychedelic glove."...Uh, I guess you had to be there!!

Last night when I was riding my bus home I suddenly felt like weeping (do I need MORE or LESS psychotropic drugs?) and I felt sad and lonely and I thought to myself (which seemed really clever at the time, but maybe its really dumb and melodramatic" "Life is nothing but an empty shell. It is all beautiful on the outside and if you put your Ear up to it, you'll think you hear signs of life, but it is really just a bunch of wind and alot of illusion." Whoa..DEEP!

I recovered quickly, though..so I feel chipper and happy and hyper today (am I Bi-Polar? I don't THINK so..but sometimes..just can never tell..it definetly runs in my family!)..Nah, I'm probably not.

do the jerk * do the frug