2002-09-18 : UGH
Ok..someone isn't gonna like this entry. I was just blocking my true feelings as I ALWAYS do. I have a friend and I am sick to death of watching and listening to her drink and fuck herself to DEATH or whatever all that is. I just feel pissed right now. I feel disgusted. I feel betrayed and manipulated. I feel like I will never trust her again. Guess I shouldn't have all along..what the fuck was I thinking? Jesus, why did you DO that to me (actually..why did you have to fuck HIM is what really bothers me, not what you did to me?) I can't believe a friend would do that. You are disgusting and you know it. I keep going back and forth between thinking none of what happened bothers me and feeling just like PUKING. I adore you but I am finally glad to have a break from you though I did have alot of fun. Please, please, please start taking CARE of yourself. It is so sad and pathetic to watch and it just makes me SICK (and it reminds me of the drunk ex-husband) YOu are so beautiful and smart and why are you throwing it all away. I think I know why because you are sick and can't help it but damn, it is so hard to watch. Oh fuck..what the hell do I know. I don't know shit.