2002-10-23 : Sedative Story...rambling daydream
Ok. I feel extremely high and euphoric on the klonopin I just popped to quell some anxiety bubbling to the surface so I think I'm gonna do a stream-of-consciosness-daydream-fantasy-movie-in-my-head writing thingie:

I'm walking down 6th avenue where some of the brick tiles on the sidewalk are loose and my clicking black boots feel the wobbly terrain. The leaves dance around my feet like ghosts. I take one in my hand. It is the red of a pomegranate and I lift it close to my nose, inhaling the pungent perfume it gives off. I want to rub its scent all over my face. But there is a cop across the interesection and he might find me suspicious. I suddenly feel winded. Winded in a way that someone smoking 10 unfiltered Lucky Strikes might feel if he hadn't smoked for a long time. I sit on this ledge, taking care not to smash the ornate ivy and moss that is covering half of it. A man is coming towards me in a olive green sweater and he hesitates when he sees me. He stops directly in front of me and I think he's mistaken me for someone else, and I am wanting him to vanish into a cloud of smoke because I need some magic tricks in my life at this point but he sits uncomfortably close to me. When he reaches in his pocket, I start to slide further away from him and I attempt to stand up until he asks me to look at something he has in his hand. It is the most miniature switchblade (or is it just a simple pocketknife) I have ever seen. I'm drawn to this little weapon which is about the length of my pinkie finger. The surface is covered in some sort of mother of pearl or opal paint, which age has slowly chipped away. He tells me that he picked it up at a pawn shop on 2nd avenue. When he asks if I want to hold it, I accept it in my palm and am surprised at how warm it feels from being held by this man's thin, hairy hands. I return him his prized possession and get up to continue walking. I feel the need to turn around once before he is totally out of sight and he yells "Why is everything a double-edged sword?" I think this is a cheesy thing for him to say but these words stick in my head for the entire rest of this day.