During my breaks, I sometimes like to go sit downstairs in the lobby, by the gas-fueled fireplace where the building pipes in soothing classical music and read a book, eat a bag of chips, or just close my eyes and listen to the sounds around me. I give evil stares to the people that sit anywhere near me that insist talking loudly on their cell phones. I know it's their right on THEIR breaks to do whatever they want, but I just hate listening to conversations. I like the readers, writers and nappers when I'm relaxing in a public place, not the talkers. I guess I just really need quiet when I'm not in the office.

I feel good today. Almost bouncy in a way I can't really explain. It started as soon as I walked out the door and noticed the puddles on the sidewalk, but also the blue sky attempting to overpower all the rain clouds. It was pretty warm and the streets were mostly quiet. The wind was swirling my skirt around and I was listening to "Orange Skies" and I just felt inexplicably contented, and it felt like the start of Spring, and the way a day in March should feel.

Back to the present: I just returned to my desk, and noticed a slight smell of human urine in my general vicinity. That is strange. I'm almost done reading "Midwives" and I don't want it to end. The entire book is completely fascinating. I love court-room dramas. Especially when the whole story is mostly told from the point of view of a thirteen-year-old midwife's daughter.

I dreamed last night that I was back in Champaign, once again. I was attending some sort of wedding reception in a fancy brick home of somebody I don't really recall knowing. There was a man there, who drove a sporty black car and I was highly attracted to him and it was obvious that the feeling was mutual, but before I could really do anything about it, he seemingly went outside amongst the crowds of merrimakers and I couldn't find him. I walked all over this wealthy neighborhood looking for this man and then I got lost and was unable to find my way back to the home that the reception was being held at. As nightfall grew, I finally found the home, but learned that my mother had thought I didn't walk to go back to my grandmother's with her and so she left me stranded their. The hosts of the party (and owners of the house) reluctantly agreed that I could sleep at their house, but then they went to bed without showing me where I could sleep, giving me blankets or anything and I felt really strange. I also was worried about getting back to Seattle and to work and was fearful that I'd missed too much work already (I'd been gone a week or more) but I was afraid to call my boss and let her know I'd still be in Illinois a few days...I remember searching for my birth control pills and my klonopin (which is a light green color..reminds me of tiny Smarties') and I finally found them in my back-pack, but I felt really abandoned and anxious and distraught. Then I woke up.

Tonight we are going to see some music and tommorrow Jay and I are planning on going to see the strange new Crispin Glover movie called "Melvin" or something like that. I guess Crispin controls a large army of rats or something, from what Jay was telling me.

do the jerk * do the frug