2003-03-19 : Fear CAN be sussed out with FLOWERS
I can't get over the fact that people are going about their business today as if everything is completely normal. Nobody is talking about IT. Nobody seems distraught but me and it makes me feel like a neurotic, angry worrywart because I CAN'T just go about my work as normal (well hell, when do I ever...I'm not satisfied with what I do for a living...but that is my own problem and I need to shut up or get out!)...Am I a freak for feeling out of sorts, in tears a points and generally TERRIFIED?? Please tell me I'm not the only one who can't go about, "business as usual." I'm TRYING..I'm at work, I'm working, I'll take my breaks, eat my lunch, go home tonight and read my fictional book which has nothing to do with Iraq, but I just don't feel NORMAL.

I almost broke down and went w/the girls to have a smoke break, but I decided to buy flowers instead to cheer myself up. Fuschia pink tulips that I clipped real short and set in a green coffee mug (I should try to distract myself with thoughts of the beauty of SPRING, SPRING, OSTARA, OSTARA...) and I also bought a little Kalanchoe plant (Yea, I don't know what that is either, but it has tiny pink/coral colored flowers all over and it is part of the jade family) and side by side, I can glance at them and maybe forget about these chaotic times we are living in, just for a few moments. Take a deep breath, Stacey, because you aren't gonna die. Not today anyway! Happy Wednesday and I hope all my friends and family and d-land pals (and the world at large) are feeling safe and loved as much as they can be.