In many ways, things are still exactly the same as they have ALWAYS been between Jay and I. We still lay in bed watching movies together and I inevitably lean my head against his shoulder or chest and watch the tv as he has his arm around me or half strokes, half pulls at my tangly hair. I still feel a certain strangely domestic (and uncharacterstic for me..) pleasure at fixing food for him (maternal...I guess I can be very maternal) that he enjoys. We still make fun of people on Tv and I still call him up and say stupid things like "rock me like a hurricane" and pretend to put on a terrible German accent and imitate The Scorpions guitarist, Matthius...(what is it with my Scorpions thing lately? It's really dumb!) We still do the "happy monkey" laugh and clap (don't ask...I could never explain and it's one of those "cutsey and incredibly dorky inside jokey things" that only couples do amongst themselves (though I've shown it to my friend L cuz she appreciates it and laughs hysterically)...Where am I going with this? Oh..just that everything is basically the same w/Jay, but not at all the same at the same time...he'll still move out. I still want him to because I want the apartment to myself and some much needed space from him, but I know that even while living apart that he'll come over and we'll still watch movies together and he'll still run his fingers through my tangly hair..I guess our friendship will never die, even if our "marriage" does...and that makes me happy. I'm friends with almost all my ex-boyfriends (and even my drunker than shit ex-husband). I guess I don't hold grudges and it takes alot to make me permanently HATE somebody. In fact, I can't think of a single person I actually HATE that I know or have known in my past. There have been some real jackasses, but they had their reasons, I suppose. I do know that if I do get divorced, that I will NEVER marry again. 2 times enough. I don't want to become a Liz Taylor clone!

do the jerk * do the frug