2003-05-13 : Turn the Crank..Cranky Crank Girl
I feel really cranky today..PMS? I have this "Europe" thing to think about. I've been corresponding w/R (the Prague guy) about moving and though he's very encouraging..he's too idealistic and "do it NOW" in his attitude. He seems to think that I, a VIRGO..can just be comfortable with selling all my possessions, quitting my job, leaving everything behind and just MOVE to Europe. He takes my desire to plan this out a bit and be practical as some sort of limitation in my character. Know what he says about my concern about what I'd do w/my cats (they are my BABIES!)? He says, "Forget the cats"...does he mean I should just throw them out to fend for themselves? Give them away to the humane society or what? He also isn't sure whether it'd be "cool" for me to visit him/his wife/his child for a week when I go to Europe since him and I are "exes" (Hell, we haven't been a "thing" since 1990!) and I understand if that would make him uncomfortable, but he's the ONLY person I really know in Europe (besides Diarylanders...) and to have that door semi-shut in my face..it's kinda weird. Would he even make TIME to visit w/me? I havent' seen him in like 12 years...oh well..I will do some planning before throwing everything out to the universe and just running off to Europe. I'll go when I'm comfortable and when I'm ready, not when he says I should come (he seems to think if I don't do it in the next year..I'll NEVER go..how does he know?) Maybe he's right, though. But his slightly pompous emails are starting to get on my nerves. Then I remember why I dumped his ass in the first place. Insensitive, COMPLETELY self-absorbed. No sense of empathy. He was all about HIM..still is, I believe. Why am I ranting about him? I have no idea.

Jay found a room to rent last night. I went with him to look at it. It's nice..in a nice house and a great location. I'm SO ready to have some space from him. We can't seem to go a day without irritating each other at this point. I cannot WAIT to live ALONE!! He also started a part time job today...he's doing some house cleaning. He wore a Hawaiian shirt to work, which cracked me up. He's cleaning some ladies' house from 8-12 today. THEN, he has to come back and clean our kitchen and bathroom (which I asked him to do 10 days ago..well, not the kitchen...)..he'll be SICK of cleaning by the time he goes to bed tonight..poor baby..ha ha. I guess I'm in a spiteful mood today. Even this trail mix with m-n-m's isn't helping. Tuesday's have become my MOnday because on Monday's I tend to only work like 5 hours and then go home (I make up the time the rest of the week)....crabby, crabby appleton. That's my name.

We started watching the "Wild Bunch" last night, but I have to admit that I just couldn't get into it. I guess the Western genre isn't my fave to begin with but I'd heard the "Wild Bunch" is such a classic. Eh...it's over-rated. Maybe it's a guy thing to get into that movie.

I woke up at 4:03 am this morning for God knows what reason and I couldn't fall asleep again until about an hour later. Hate it when that happens....I don't even know what I was thinking about.