Somebody tell me this...When and Why did the Makers decide to start sucking? I'm listening to "Hunger" and it's such a fucking KICK ASS thing...."Psychopathia Sexualis" (I've seen a copy of a movie by the same title at Video Vertigo, I should rent it!) was pretty good and then came "Rock Star God" which had a few good songs and then I saw them live for the last time about 1 year ago and holy FUCK! YUCK!! YUCK!! I hope they eventually go back to their roots and stop their "concept" albums and cut their fucking hair off again so they don't look like goddamn Kansas. Anyways, that is enough of that. The music is keeping me driven at work today. Once in awhile I can listen to music on headphones when I get my ATB (don't ask me to explain) and then I just organize and write shit down and listen to music and I can stretch it out over a day and not make any damn calls to the insurance companies. So, I'm enjoying this. I woke up feeling really chipper and the sun was shining but as the morning progesses I'm just fighting to stay focused and awake. The music helps. Maybe I need to go eat lunch. I havent' been eating well or enough for the past several weeks (It's all Larry's fault..ha ha) Actually, I've been smoking every day and I know it's suppressed my appetite. I have a guilt-trip on myself every fucking day, each time I light one up but I'm addicted again..FUCK! Oh well....that is life. When I'm ready to quit I will. Why did I ever START? *whine*

L. is painting "our" room at my suggestion for when I move down there. I asked for dark, rich red. The paint color is called "Rapture" it's beautiful..I hope it looks as gorgeous on the walls. He won't even let me help him pay for the paint....nice. "Rapture"...reminds me of blondie. Our bedroom is gonna look like a Chinese brothel when it's done (which sounds pretty fucking cool to me! YES!)

do the jerk * do the frug