2003-07-25 : Nightmares and Eggplant Sandwiches!
Current complaints of the day: my neck, head and shoulders ache. Remedy: 2 ibuprofen..should kick in soon. I'm also still dazed from waking up from a semi-nightmare (more about that later). Happy thoughts of the day: It's Friday. It's beautiful outside and I love waking up the sounds of birds chirping. It makes me feel like Mary Poppins or that I'm living a Sound of Music life (Yea RIGHT!) Other excitement: I GOT MY PASSPORT!!!!! I was in shock to find it in the mail last night. I had only sent in the court document of my name change a few DAYS ago...guess they were quick about it, which total surprises me. The government being efficient? Who would have thunk?? I stared at the passport for awhile and thought "With enough funds I can now travel ANYWHERE." It's a great feeling!

My dinner with Jill last night was nice. She's dyed her hair a deep red and now I feel like we are twins (only she has really long hair and mine is only chin length) We mostly talked about her frustrations in her relationship (this is mostly what we always talk about) and how she has this feeling that she is one foot over the cliff to "losing her mind"...Wish I could help her, but there isn't anything I can do to improve her mindstate. I had my usual when we eat at Flowers..a grilled eggplant sandwich with dripping cheese served on soft bread...they also serve it with fried potatoes and a salad. It's delish! When I got home from dinner, the guy that lives in a house across the street was sitting out on his front steps plucking away at his banjo. It was great seeing and hearing that. He was pretty darn good, too. I clapped once from across the street (I was smoking a cigarette on our front porch) and he kinda smiled.

I was asleep by 9:50 or 10 pm...feel much more rested today:)

Nightmare: I dreamt I was visiting some other town by myself as if I were vacationing alone or something but in a way it was as if I'd MOVED there cuz I had all my clothes and other assorted stuff. Anyways, I was riding on this bus and I'm taking up the whole seat, not thinking about it..not consciously trying to be rude, just being spaced out. Then this guy comes and says "Do you think you could scoot over" in sort of a snide way and I apologize and scoot over. Then the dream shifts and this same guy has stolen my wallet from my purse and I won't let go of his arm and I'm yelling and demanding that he give me back my shit and he pulls out this HUGE fucking butcher knife from his waistband and I start being really afraid and shrieking "No, No...please just give me back my wallet. Don't cut me. Don't hurt me. PLEASE" and I'm pleading with him and then we are off the bus and I still have a hold of him and he still has the knife and a pistol in the OTHER hand and I'm totally fearing for my life and I'm pleading with people walking by to call 9-1-1 but they all look at me completely apathetically...like they don't believe me. Like they think I'm "crazy" and I got so frustrated. Anyways, I think I get my wallet back from him and escape and I check myself into this run-down motel and I'm hanging up clothes but I'm totally scared because I know that the thief/knife guy KNOWS I'm in this room in this motel, so then I'm thinking about asking to be switched to another room. I just feel like I have to hide. At one point I tryed securing the window with a board so he will have trouble breaking in and I"m just so scared. Then I'm in that room or another one and he finds me and he is laying on top of me and in some bizarre way he is really rather sexy but I'm terrified of him and there seems to be some sexual situation about to happen but I also know that he will try and strangle me, and I'm sweet-talking him and saying "Please..I KNOW you are just doing this now but that you plan on strangling me and I'll die" and he smiles and said "you won't necessarily die from it." I believe I woke up then...CRAZY!!!

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Anyways, I need to do more work than I did yesterday...my conscience is bothering me a bit. I'm looking forward to a relaxing weekend. I think I'll rent movies and read alot. I might go see Jay's band again. They are playing on Saturday with his bass players OTHER band, Drag Strip Riot. I can't remember where, though. *sigh*...I miss Larry. 22 more days until I move!