2003-08-07 : Picking Compulsion
Can't think of a damn thing to talk about today. I have PMS and my breasts and abdomen feel tender and swollen. Yesterday was an emotional roller coaster. The glass pie plate I was baking my pot pie on last night cracked in half in the oven..strange!! That has never happened before...maybe it was just too old. I know I'm a little over-excited and kind of anxious about the up-coming move because my scalp is a fucking mess (I'm a "picker") and I find myself doing it constantly these days to calm myself down...it's disgusting but it feels good. I found this Yahoo group called "Pickers" which I joined. It's about people that have Trichotillomania (which is when people pull their hair out to the point of baldness) and other picking compulsions..I never knew so many people have picking compulsions (skin, scabs, etc.) I've been doing this for SO long. I think I've mentioned it in here before. Anyways, it's weird because I don't know if I'd even consider it a problem cuz I have no intention of stopping. So what if I have really flakey scalp (Ok..the dandruff on the shoulders thing is sort of embarrassing, as is getting a hair cut cuz they can see how much damage I've done to my scalp) but am I REALLY hurting myself? I'm not sure that I am. It's more like a nervous habit, I think, and aren't they necessary in a way? To keep sane..to keep calm, etc.

I wish it was tommorrow at 5 pm so I'd be done with working here FOREVER! I got enough sleep last night but I'm doing too much thinking and it's making me tired!