Yesterday I went up to the park that is at the top of a hill down the street from us..it's called "Willamette Heights"...very pretty views and pretty secluded. Some men are SOO irritating..this middle aged guy arrived around the same time I did and he was trying to strike up a conversation and I was just trying to BE ALONE and he even asked "Do you want some company" (which REALLY irritated me..I don't come to the park to get a boyfriend or whatever..) and I told him that I came to the park to be alone and that I didn't want company...he said ok....but I could tell he was checking me out the whole 10 minutes he was there..he also asked me "Do you smoke?" (I think he meant "Do you get high?") and I said "No"...He said "Have a Nice Day" to me about 5 times. Sometimes you just have to be a bitch. What an idiot.

I'm not sure what my deal was yesterday. I had several episodes of "weeping" at different times during the day. Guess I'm feeling frustrated and really lonely (I have no friends here) and I spend all day alone while Larry is at work. It always feels the worst on Monday's for some reason. Larry thinks I'll probably land a job after we get back from Denver (we are leaving next Thursday) and I bet he's right. I want some money so I can start paying off my deliquent bills, but I also just want to be able to go and buy some good music, etc.

I just finished "Swan" by Frances Mayes. It was really interesting. Sort of a mystery set in the deep South. This same author wrote "Under the Tuscan Sun" which I didn't read (but saw the movie)

You know what was really appropriate driving music (sometimes the scenery going by while in a car and the music can sync up just perfectly in my mind..it's almost like I imagine I'm in a movie and the soundtrack is really good) on Sunday on the way to and from Larry's grandparents house? The Velvet Underground's first (The Banana album)....On the way there it was sunny and all swaying green trees and hills and valleys and distant mountains and sparkling lake water and "Sunday Morning" was just perfect. Then on the way back home the sun was setting and "All Tommorrow's Parties" seemed just right, and by the time we reached "European Son" it was dark out.