One thing that's bothering me is this weird phase that Larry and I seem to be going through (it's both of us, not just one of us)...For the past week or so (including when we were in Portland) we both seem a MILLION MILES away from each other...we just aren't THERE and I feel more like his roomate than his girlfriend....he'll watch Tv, I'll be on the computer..we aren't conversing much...We'll read in bed and then go to sleep...we'll say goodnight and sometimes "I love you" but it all feels so strained. I feel bored with how things are and I hope this phase goes away quickly because I hate feeling this way (this "non-feeling")...Our sex life seems to have dwindled to practically nothing. I think it's mostly due to fatigue (esp. since he gets up at 4:30 am and is working a 2nd job for 2 hours AFTER his 8 hour job)
Sometimes I wish/wonder about if it'd be better if we didn't see each other so much and it makes me wonder if I should live in my own place, but I don't REALLY want to move out and I can't really afford anything but this living situation (it's cheap for me to be there)..I don't know. I asked him this morning on the phone if he had noticed how distant we seem towards each other recently and he said he had and that it bothers him as well (but I know he'd never have said anything or even brought it up if it got unbearable because sometimes he just doesn't know how to communicate anything at all..it's strange)
blah..I feel blah about everything. Sonic Youth's new release and PJ Harvey's new release came out yesterday and I went to House of REcords and bought them both (I'm not buying ANYMORE music for awhile..I swear) and I even feel sorta blah about the new music. Oh well.
