Speaking of late 70's snarlers..I was listening to www.kexp.org (My fave Seattle radio station) and I requested (by email) The Stranglers' song "Peaches" and the DJ emailed me back saying "If memory serves me right, that song won't get past the FCC." I thought about "Peaches" and the I guess the word "shit" and possibly "clitoris" won't pass, though KWVA down here always plays it for me. So, since the DJ up there hasn't bothered to play me ANY Stranglers ("Golden Brown" is a nice pretty and inoffensive song..kinda rare for the Stranglers not to be somewhat offensive!) I've just put on their "Rattus Norvegicus" album (Their first, I believe, and their BEST!) The organs are great but also irritating as hell and I love the singer and his shitty fucking attitude (Man, they wrote some really blistering/insulting songs if you listen closely!) and it's the BASS that makes this band...AWESOME. Ok, enough about gushing about The Stranglers..if you like the Stranglers at all, let me know:)
I'm in a depressed/angry/hopeless mood today. It's the same feeling I always have after I look through the want ads in The Register Guard. No jobs I am qualified for/and or jobs I just refuse to apply for. Yep, I'm pathetic because I'm whining about being unemployed yet I AM being picky because I feel it's my fucking right to be picky. I"m not a fucking moron. I want an interesting job, even if it doesn't pay alot. I didn't see any in the on-line want ads.
I swear I feel like I have PMS even though I don't. I did start a new "type" of birth control pill today...it's supposedly really similar to my Ortho Novum, but maybe the hormones are a little different and I"m reacting to that. Planned Parenthood told me I might want to use condoms as back-up for the first 7 days of taking this new pill ("just in case") so last night I dumped out all the condoms they gave me (They give me at LEAST 25 different kinds of condoms)...There are purple ones and red ribbed/studded ones and "extra sensitive" and sort of "normal" condoms..no EXTRA LARGE though (ha ha...Larry probably wishes he needed those but he doesn't..I like most things in moderation...mid-size, etc....and Larry is no exception) GOD, he'd kill me if he read this..Oh well..fuck it. I don't think men should be embarrassed about having an "average" sized dick. I think MOST women prefer average. Too big just fucking HURTS and too small..well, I don't really need to talk about that, do I? If you'd care to share your thoughts on penis size or penis insecurities, please feel free...God, WHERE am I going with this? I swear I'm talking about penises because I find the Stranglers to be a crude and somewhat sexy band (not the members themselves...EEEK!)
Anyways, speaking of moody...I was on-line earlier and then I shut it all down and laid on my bed, hugging a pillow and just sobbing for no apparent reason. Sometimes I hug my stuffed black panther that looks like my cat Opal and hug that. I feel like I revert to a very sad little girl when I get like that..I feel that I'm about 4 or 5 years old. It's strange. I stared at our light blue walls and then I stared at our bright red walls and then I sat hunched over in front of the fish tank just sniffling that an idiot...maybe hoping the fish would give me some fucking advice on what I'm HERE ON EARTH FOR...what I should be doing...all of those questions some of us ask.
I felt the need to run a soothing bath, so I did. I poured a little rose oil into the bath and I washed my hair and my body and just soaked and I felt my mood shift and the tears dryed up and here I am now, feeling halfway between good and bad. Like I said, I prefer everything to be mid-range and maybe that includes my emotions.
