Afterwards I went to the mall across the street. I hate malls. I spent as little time in it as possible. I only had $3.00 and so I opted for Mcshitty's. I managed not to spend my last dollar so I got a chocolate-covered cherry from Euphoria chocolates, and then I split, but NOT before being overwhelmed by the throngs of slow-walking shoppers and gawkers and groups of teens. I wondered why the teens weren't in school. It seemed like they were of high school age but maybe they were actually in their first year of college. I find that there isn't much difference in looks between someone that is 17 and someone that is 18 or 19. I pined for some of the cute clothes I saw in the windows of Banana Republic and than I thought about why I even would consider shopping in a chain store such as that. Then I was assaulted by the strong cologne smell and loud techno bouncing out at me as I quickly walked past Abercrombie & Fitch. YUCK! I fucking hate that place. I walked in there once just to see what the sales associates were like out of curiosity. Not a single one came up to me. They didn't even greet me. I guess I wasn't shiny and plastic enough. Maybe they sensed from the holes in my skirt or my shirt or my tights or my shoes that I didn't have more than $1.50 to spend in there.
On the bus ride home I listened to a tape that I pulled out of a stack long-forgotten. I listened to The Chrome Cranks and I remembered why I enjoyed seeing them live so much. They were so trashy and noisy and fuzzed out. I remember that they came to the Crocodile Cafe in March of 1995, right when I was starting to recover from a massive break-down which mostly consisted of daily panic attacks and agoraphobia (is that the right one? I couldn't leave the house for several weeks...) and I was finally able to go places as long as other people were with me. I guess I"m remembering this because I've been writing about all this in "The Imipramine Experiment." I remember that Tracita had come to visit from Illinois and we all went to see The Chrome Cranks play, and found ourselves talking to them afterwards. Nice guys.
Larry and I've been watching PBS' "Regency House Party" which we are both enjoying. We had taped it on Wednesday because Larry has to be in bed by the time it has started, so we watched the tape last night.
This morning we walked down to Rose's diner for breakfast and now I have egg and bacon farts (in case anybody wondered!) Rose says she has a bunch of vintage clothing and stuff to give to me, which is SO nice because she doesn't even know me. I don't know how she guessed I love all things vintage. I don't recall that I've actually worn vintage clothing in her diner, but she guessed right. I guess the stuff she has to give to me was her GRANDMOTHER's, which makes me excited because Rose herself has got to be in her mid 50's. I'm hoping for sexy secretarial dresses from the 40's and maybe beaded purses from an even earlier than that, but we'll see. I'll take ANYTHING. Anyways, it makes me feel special that she wants to give the stuff to ME. I mean, we go in the on a semi-regular basis, but....maybe she doesn't know anybody else interested in stuff like that. I guess her daughter (who I would guess to be in her early to mid 20's) isn't into that sort of stuff.
I think I"ll make a little list of facts about me when I was a kid, just to see how much I can remember:
1. I was born in Oak Park, IL but my parents divorced when I was 4. Actually, my father left my mother for another woman (whom he is still married to. I have a half brother and sister from his second marriage that I barely know.)
2. My mom left the Chicago area after that, and moved us (my sister, Sarah, was barely 2) into Grandma Marie's house in Ivesdale (about a half hour drive outside Champaign). I don't think we lived there longer than a few months.
3. I don't remember this, but there are pictures of my 4th or 5th birthday party in which the theme of the party was Raggedy Ann and Andy. I think the only people that attended my party were my sister, me, my mom, my grandma and my mom's youngest sibling, John, who was a in his late teens, I think.
4. Another photo I like is of my sister and I standing in a wading pool. My sister has her nose all scrunched up in the picture. I'm wearing the most adorable orange swimsuit that has a little attached skirt.
Well, I'll save more memories for later.
