Autumn brings so many feelings out in me: a coziness like no other season, as the air becomes more chilly at night. It also feels so refreshing because it's still very warm and sunny during the day. Everything is purely bittersweet (including my emotions)..the days are becoming more short, but we can still watch gorgeous twilight (twilight is still around 7:30, I think) sunsets on our deck up in the trees. Everything is very dried out right now. Leaves fall from the trees..brittle brown/beige, like modern fragment of papyrus paper or something. Then the wind blows the leaves and the dirt all over the street and I sit on my front porch, watching this scene, as Little Dude (one of the two strays I'm trying to feed and mother) winds his adorable, but emaciated body around my ankles. Little Dude isn't very playful because he seems too tired, and I've become attached to him and it will make me cry when we are able to scoop him up and take him to the no-kill shelter because I think he needs shots and de-worming and disease-testing and we can't afford to keep him as our own, but for now I can take in sweet tones to him and pet him and feed him.

I think I am in love with David Eugene Edwards. I don't know why. I am in disagreement with his religious beliefs, but I think he's sexy and bony and conflicted (and that is what makes him sexy, and then there are his words and his voice)...I really wish Sixteen Horsepower hadn't broken up. I like Woven Hand, but it just isn't the same to me!! I could listen to Sixteen Horsepower all day and all night long. It tends to make me feel fairly melancholy, though, so I need to ease up a bit.

We've been putting various lounge stuff on our ipod. Sergio Mendes/Brasil 66...they make me want to dance around the room in a slinky outfit!!

This is the first time in awhile that I've felt like writing. I feel like I have so much to express but I don't think I can get it all out in one entry.

My birthday has come and gone. Ashland, Oregon was nice but I don't feel the need to go back. It's a little too touristy for my tastes. I just wasn't all that enamored with it. I'd rather be in Pt. Townsend, WA (as far as upscale, touristy towns go)

Crater Lake was breathtaking, though. The color of that water (and it wasn't even sunny when we were up there)...tons of chipmunks running around on the rocks. One ran up to my wrist and tryed to pull my bracelet off..what a little punk:)...Another one actually bit my mom on the tip of her finger..hungry and ballsy little things..they are so cute, though!! It was a nice drive back from Crater Lake. Oregon is so beautiful!!

I've had some great interviews lately and I have a second interview next week and I don't really feel like talking about job prospects right now except to say that I feel like I may have more than one job to choose from and I'm feeling pretty upbeat about it all right now.

Mom is excited because she is now a student of Lane Community College and starts two of her massage therapy classes in a few weeks. Her face was glowing with excitement, as if she were an 18-year-old, instead of going on 60! I'm really happy for her and it's wonderful having her live with us!

I can't watch anymore about the Gulf states disaster. All I can do is pray for them and once I get a job, give to a charity. But watching all the media..I don't know, it's all too much. It makes me angry and very sad.

I really like my therapist and have been going to her weekly. Yesterday we ended up talking about where I hold all my stress and negative emotions within my body. She is great at asking really unique questions to make me think about myself in different ways. I told her that I store everything in my heart area and that if I visualize what it looks like in there, my perfectly healthy and pink/red heart is struggling to breathe beneath a layer of old, splintery boards and nails full of hate and depression and loneliness that I put there to protect myself from pain. Anyways, I think it'd be more healthy to have stained glass windows that both open and close around my heart, so that I can let things in, and also keep things out. We plan on doing some "remodeling"!!

do the jerk * do the frug