2006-07-26 : Family Reunion in Denver
Mom and I got back from Denver yesterday afternoon. The house seems so quiet. We had gotten used to having a big dog around and Baby Josiah and my sister's two older kids, Adahy (10) and Wahliya (8). Wahliya is a little ball of energy. You constantly have to tell her to settle down a little. Adahy is really mellow. He always has been.

I was able to talk to them a lot about how they felt about their mom's death, and also about Judah and what sort of abuse they witnessed. They were really talkative about all of it. They saw some horrible shit. I wish they were in counseling, but I have no control over that. I told them that even though their step-mom has a BA in Psychology, they might want to go to a counselor that isn't a family member at some point and they agreed (but sometimes kids agree just to get you to shut the hell up!) I cried a few times because it was so sad and strange to see them WITHOUT my sister, but we had a great time, nonetheless.

They really are fantastic kids and I'm not being biased. They were so in awe of Josiah. Meeting him for the first time (of course they were around him when Sarah was still pregnant with him) was really amazing to them. They played with him and held him and it was really cute to see them all together.

We went swimming in a pool one day and that was fun. I haven't been swimming in a pool for quite awhile. I thought I looked pretty good in my two piece pink and black suit despite some flab here and there. I slathered myself in 30 SPF and managed NOT to get sunburned, which was good! Adahy and Wahliya are little fish. They've been that way since they were kids.

The last night we were in Denver we ate at this decent Steakhouse called "The Keg" (which is a West-coast steakhouse chain, I think, though it's really good and pretty pricey) and for our party of 10, the bill (without tip) ended up being $310.00..WHOA! I didn't drink the 2 or 3 bottles of red wine my brother ordered, I only had 1 lemondrop martini (I love flavored martinis but can't stand a regular martini!)...My brother, being the loveable jackass that he is, bet poor 10-year-old Adahy $5.00 that he couldn't finish all the food on his plate (which was a big french dip sandwich and fries, and Adahy also ate a hot fudge sundae) but Adahy finished everything. Sure enough, on the taxi ride home, I look back and Adahy is vomiting (soundlessly, mind you) into his hands. THis is SO gross, but it was so thick that it looked like a big loaf of bread dough was cominig out of his mouth. Luckily mom had a takeout box and he got almost all of it in that. He looked pretty pale after that, but said he felt better. We gave Mike shit about betting with Adahy like that, but Mike just laughed, of course. Jackass.

I tried escargot for the first time. It was served in it's typical butter and garlic sauce and had a big, flavorful mushroom on top of it (Maybe it's always served that way)...anyways, I only had 1, but I thought it was tasty (the sauce, more than anything). Not sure I'd go out of my way to eat it, though. I felt sort of bad. I think snails are kinda cute! Will I ever try caviar? I doubt it!!


Mom has chemo today. I feel so sorry for her. She start crying last night and said she felt really lonely and that the house felt empty without a barking dog and kids running around (that's true! It is eerily quiet here most of the time) and she said she is so sick of having chemo and wonders if she'll have to spend the rest of her life having chemo and feeling like shit. I told her the choice was hers. She assumed I meant that she could try to have a more positive outlook on chemo, but what I really meant was that if this cancer can't be beat and the chemo isn't doing much for very long, she could just STOP THE CHEMO. I realize that it would shorten her life span drastically, but we both agree that quality of life is better than length of life. It is all very sad to think about, but we have to be realistic. It appears that this new chemo IS working (thank god) because her CA-125 came done from 1400 to 1250 with just one treatment....Please keep all fingers crossed!!

I didn't think I'd miss Larry when I was gone because we've been in our own little worlds for awhile now (which is not a GOOD thing) but I was happy to see him when we got back. I still don't know if our relationship will work out in the long run. I'm getting more comfortable with the idea of the fact that it will end when the time is right and we'll both find other people that we are a little more compatible with.

I think alot about what this intuitive said to me in June about how I would meet this slightly older man with a medium build and brown hair that would truly be more akin to my soul-mate, we would be so compatible in every way. Maybe what she said was a bunch of bullshit, though..you never know. Since she said I don't know him yet, I am frequently scanning crowds (airports, grocery stores, etc.) to see if I see someone that might be him..it's really retarded but sort of fun!!

Uh-oh, there is a cat stand-off situation between Missy and Poppy. Time for Tater, the sheriff of CatTown to step in and settle this matter!