I thing I was overblowing how URGENTLY my relationship with Larry needs to end. I guess it was one of those moments in time where it felt very urgent. My thoughts, feelings and emotions can change pretty drastically day-by-day (or several TIMES a day) because whether I believe it or not, I'm still suffering quite a bit between the violent loss of my sister and dealing with mom's illness. Larry and I went hiking on Saturday. We hiked up to the peak of Patterson Mountain (it's close to Oakride for you Central Oregonians!) and even though it was only a 4.6 roundtrip hike (with a 600 foot elevation/ascent) I still wanted to lie down and die at some points. I've never been athletically inclined and though I've been taking these Dahn yoga and Dahn mudo classes, I'm a long ways from being in decent shape. I managed to do the whole hike without complaining much, though. The view from the peak was worth all the pain the arches of my feet are in and the stiffness in my legs that persists. Yesterday we went and saw the 2nd Pirates of the Caribbean movie and we held hands, so I guess our relationship isn't doomed. It isn't what it should be, either, though. We'll see what happens. It isn't as bad as I had myself thinking but it is partially broken and I hope we can fix it at some point soon (our at least put some band-aids on it until surgery is possible)...In the long run who really knows about ANYTHING? One thing that life has taught me in the last 8 months is that nothing is EVER permanent or certain and living day to day makes more sense than planning for the indefinite future.

Larry has been taking diving lessons and his group is diving around Florence this weekend (very early in the morning) and so I've booked a hotel room in Florence for the two of us for the weekend. It makes no sense for him to drive 70 miles twice a day for two days (especially when they start their drives at 6am because of the tide..he'd have to leave the house at 4:30 am to be there on time FOR SURE). So, I'll still be asleep when he is diving, and then he can come back and I'll wake up and we can hang around Florence most of the weekend. I hope it's a fun weekend and I hope he enjoys the diving. I also hope I can even GO..Mom isn't feeling good currently because of her last chemo treatment (last Wednesday) but I am hoping she'll be ok for the weekend. I'll stay home if I need to, and at least Larry will still have the hotel to stay in!

Switching gears..I never liked blueberries until this year. Now I love them. I also like the fact that they are extremely healthy! I feel like writing a silly song about blueberries but I will refrain from doing that.

Oh, I got an email from an old high school friend that I hadn't heard from for years. She emailed me last week. I hope we can stay in frequent contact. Her name is Kim. We used to run cross-country together in high school. She was a better runner than I (I usually came in second to last) but we usually lagged behind on purpose it seems to be with each other. Our coach was a prick most of the time and I think he was irritated that Kim wasn't running up to her potential or some shit because she was waiting for me. He always called us "Mutt and Jeff" or "two peas in a pod" or something. We also loved Duran Duran and INXS and we used to sit around our houses and make up mock phone interviews with these bands...ridiculously funny and stupid! I also remember that we talked all the time in Fuckhead's Science Class..we called him "RAM" but I can't remember the teachers name. He was creepy and asked us to stay behind once for talking too much. I can't remember if I failed that class or not. I don't think I ever failed anything in high school. I remember towards the end of high school she had a little MG that she drove around. She was dating frat boys and I was Ms. Death Rock/New-Waver and still very innocent when it came to guys but we still hung out sometimes. We eventually grew apart. It's nice to catch up with her again.

do the jerk * do the frug