2006-12-20 : Many things, above all else, a dedication to Dieter
One Bourbon, One Scotch and One Beer..Sorry, I've got John Lee Hooker on the brain. I think I slept almost 12 hours last night and didn't wake up ONCE! (God, I am so RANDOM sometimes in these diary entries!)

Even though Larry bought me a digital camera and I bought him a new I-pod a couple of months ago and those were SUPPOSED to be our only Christmas present to each other, we have continued to buy each other gifts. I, for one, couldn't stand seeing our pretty Christmas tree with no gifts underneath of it. That seemed pathetic somehow. Now that I have 4 or 5 wrapped gifts under the tree that I bought for Larry and he sees that he only has 2 for me I'm almost positive that he'll buy me more stuff, which is NOT necessary but it's almost turned into this competition. It's sweet, though. I know I should curtail my spending some but I think I'm doing MAJOR shopping therapy to help alleviate the sadness around the deaths in my family..and I have the money, so fuck it. I will be frugal in Europe...hahahahahaha..YEA RIGHT!!
I was noticing last night as I was wrapping Larry's gifts that I am getting better at wrapping presents than I used to be. I still have a long way to go, though. I always admired my mom's skill in wrapping almost anything perfectly. I don't know how she did it. When I wrapped presents as a kid I would always misjudge how much paper to use and the present would just be this huge jumble of paper with no neat lines or folds. Ok. I think I'm going to try another stream of consciousness thing. I don't know if my mind is open enough to do is right now, but here goes nothing:
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pink tights on a little girl who has dark shadows under her eyes. Appearances are so deceiving. I see angels on my wall and they blow golden bowls of glass in a giant kiln. Holly and ivy and Pinesol all sitting together in a plastic cup. My grandmother's bathroom: red towels, perfumed with Lysol. Eating Caramels while wearing braces was such a bad idea. How I wonder if my new ritual of drinking apple cider vinegar two to three times daily will actually erode the enamel off of my teeth. I go to the mirror to see if my teeth look more yellow. I'm seeing a cut finger and I'm seeing the bag coming from my mom's stomach that collected what went in and out of her body. Green bile. Ok, I am consciously changing the flow because I don't want to talk about my mom's disease and death for once. I'm thinking about sno-cones in the summer and how much I hate rollercoasters and about singing "You Light Up My Life" with my sister as we sat on a swing set in San Antonio (wow..great alliteration!) Looking at a map of Germany. Should I go to Hamburg? What would I see in Cologne? I like the word Dresden. I want to see my reflection in the Rhine River and maybe I will go to Dresden because it seems that Prague is just a hop over the border from there. I think of my ex-boyfriend, Dieter. He was uncircumsized. He sang opera in the shower and sat on my bed and played guitar and sang Beatles songs and sounded exactly like a cross between Lennon and McCartney. The last time I really saw him was at the Pike Place Market, circa 2003. He was working at Ulli's Sausage..Ulli was another German but then I think Dieter quit. Dieter was homeless off and on while I knew him. It was because of this horrible gambling addiction he had. Sometimes I think Dieter might have been suicidal and I hope that he is alive and well and living back in Germany. I think America just got to be too much for him. So, I guess I end this entry and dedicate it to Dieter. Auf Wiedersehen!