I broke up with Larry last night. It's all pretty sad, but non-hostile for the most part, which is good. I don't really feel like explaining it right now. Let's just say that the fault lies with noone. All the trauma of this past 13 months has really taken a toll on our relationship and I continue to feel, sometimes, that I only have half a heart right now. Can I grow back ventricles and valves? Can the whole in my aorta be patched over with something you would use to fix a hole in a tire? Maybe. Maybe not. I just can't be in relationship right now because I can't give enough love to another person and Larry doesn't deserve that. I don't know if this is a "forever" break up, but for now it is. I feel guilty. I never like hurting people. I know he is hurt, but it would have been worse to prolong this (esp. over the 4 1/2 months that I'll be in Europe)..we will see what happens.

I'm flying to Denver a week early to give Larry his space (and to give me space of my own)...It's good I'm arriving tommorrow because my brother just had to have his dog put to sleep today and he is a wreck. Poor guy. It's the last fucking thing he needs. *sigh*

do the jerk * do the frug