I don't want to go into much detail (I fear people I know in real life are reading this without my knowledge) but I am making an appointment for L and I to see a marriage counselor. We need help, that is for sure. Nasty things were said (on his part, he fights dirty and needs to learn how to stop doing that) and a lot of crying and panicking was done(on my part). I have been to counseling many times for various reasons (anxiety, depression, intense grief) but he never has and I know he has a slightly negative and jaded view of therapy, but I hope it will help. He has gotten better over the years (because I have kind of drug info out of him) but he still is a pretty horrible communicator, so things simmer for months and then he blows. It is irritating as shit. He said "I will never be a good communicator. I haven't been for 43 years and I doubt that will ever change." I call complete bullshit on that. He can learn to communicate and open up. He may never be the most open person, but he can improve.
Bella starts preschool on September 12!! It is a parent-teacher coop preschool, so I will be helping in the class room twice per month. It helps keep the tuition very, very low (which is all we can afford right now).
I am excited about Halloween (I am every year, actually!) I took that night off from work because I want to take Bella trick-or-treating. We are both going as black cats. The nice thing is that the black velvet leggings and bodysuit I ordered are nice quality and I can wear them whenever.
My birthday is Sunday. I feel kind of indifferent to turning 43. All I really want, I decided, is another blender. The one use is fine but I can tell it is getting worn down since I use it for smoothies so much. I don't need anything expensive..$30 will probably do the job, which is good since we are always so fricking broke.
On a positive note. I have been watching "Mad Men" while Bella takes her late morning nap. I am in love with Don Draper. What a brooding cad!!!
