Once I started having panic attacks (20 years ago, nearly) I have stayed as much away from caffeine as possible. I have the rare Coke here and there (once or twice a year), more frequently, hot chocolate, and a candy bar a few times per month.
I had this nostalgic memory today of having Dr Pepper flavored/scented Bonnie Bell lip smacker.
Today (though the nervous part of me was shouting "Don't do this.") I just drank 10 oz of Dr Pepper (I bought a 20 oz bottle and just threw it away, only half empty). I just decided that drinking it at 6:30 at night was a bad idea, and that it was a stupid idea from a panic disorder viewpoint.
I feel energetic and slightly nervous but nothing major. I still LOVE the taste of it, though. I hadn't tasted that in years and years. I will probably go another 20 years before having any.
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Monday is the 8th anniversary of the murder of Sarah. That is crazy to think about.
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My family are coming from Colorado and Illinois over the weekend and next week to visit for Thanksgiving. I am excited about this. I wish I didn't have to deep clean my house, though (or feel like I needed to do this).
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WHY can't I write the way I used to? I read back through my entries from 10 years ago and it was interesting stuff, and now it just isn't.
