I'm feeling really just like crap today. I have no motivation to do this damn job. It is so boring to sit on hold with an insurance company for a half hour and then get disconnected.ARGH! I'm also reading the requirements it will take for me to get into the Education Teaching certificate/Masters of Education program at the Univ. of Wash. and it all just intimidates me. Applying for graduate school in general just is freaking me out. I have to have like 60 hours classroom observation before I even start the program. How will I do this? Can I afford to quit my job in order to do this and then go to school for 1 year and 3 months. How can I work full-time and go to school full-time. Impossible, I think. I will have a nervous breakdown if I do! I still really want to get this teaching certificate, but damn, I am lazy and this all suddenly seems like so much work (just to GET IN to the program and pay for it). What if I find out I really hate kids. Yesterday was an example of hating kids. I was laying calmly on my bed, with the window open. Nice breeze, sounds of crazy, cute duck quacking, but mostly just quiet lake sounds (which is why I chose to live on a lake..for the peace and quiet). Then here come a group of 4-5 kids, ages ranging between like 4-9, I think. THey are crying, screaming at each other, just horsing around, but LOUDLY and I just wanted to stand on my balcony and shout "Hey you stupid kids..shut the FUCK UP! You are ruining my reading time!" But I didn't of course. Maybe I shouldn't be a teacher, with that attitude, I don't know! Maybe I should become a librarian. Libraries are quiet, aren't they?

Anyways...here was my weekend:

FRIDAY night

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THe Hives/Mooney Suzuki show. Awesome. I wiggled my butt alot. It was an all ages show and so it was mega crowded at the Showbox. Must of been hundreds of people there. Very hot and claustrophic. I tryed not to think about how it made me feel faint cuz I didn't wanna end up having a panic attack and having to leave before the Hives came on. The Mooney Suzuki were all rock-n-roll swagger. Pointing their

fingers at each other and the audience. Alot of hand clapping. THe drummer kept holding up a giant fake red cobra statue. That cracked me up. It made no sense at all for him to be doing it!

I loved it.

The Hives singer is a heartthrob along the lines of Sean or David Cassidy. He is just pure, wide-eyed CUTE. Fun show, except for the older guy (mid 50s) who was standing close to me and kept yelling "ROCK-N-ROLL" all the time and kept staring at me as I wiggled my butt dancing..pervert!!!

Saturday

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Went to Walgreens, Woo-hoo! The pharmacist and I had an unexpected conversation about Love/Arthur Lee cuz I was wearing a Love t-shirt. You can never judge a pharmacist by his smock!!

THen we went to Craniums, a collectibles store/restaurant/coffeeshop

I bought a naked Raggedy Ann doll for $5.00 and also a Raggedy Andy Vase/planter...very cute. I love those redheads!! That night we went to Industrial Coffee and saw 4 mediocre/boring (well, the Stuckups are pretty fun. I take that back) "punk rock" bands. I was so bored. I felt out of place. I am not enough of a hipster to have fun at these stupid shows. I should have been home petting cats and reading books. God, I'm lame!

Sunday

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Woke up from a dream about travelling spontaneously to Germany w/Jason. We were having trouble communicating w/people there. I cussed out this Hotel clerk when she suddenly decided not to let us have a room. Her reason for this was "You can't even write or speak English very well." I yelled "I have a fucking BA in English, you bitch!"

the room went dead silent, like in a movie. THen Jason was too busy showing me rare Jimi Hendrix posters he picked up in the hotel to help me figure out where we were gonna stay. Crazy dream. Cool, though!! I told Jason "Stop acting like an "Ugly American." You are freaking out the Germans!

anyways, after dreaming this, I ate waffles, cleaned the bathroom, did 6 loads of laundry and cooked a pot roast on top of that. Then I was in a really pissy mood from doing too much on my day off and Jason wanted a hug and I said "No! I don't feel like being affectionate right now." I can be so COLD! I felt better after I ate.

Sunday night we watched a beautiful, pointless movie called "The Long Day Closes" or something like that. It was a very "dream-state" movie. British, set in 1955. Typical "loner" young boy observing his family and lack of friends. I liked it.

Well, I'm gonna go..tired of rambling!

do the jerk * do the frug