2002-08-08 : Midgets on Little House on the Prairie
I think I've increased my fiber intake too quickly if ya know what I mean..yuck! Anyways..I started an exercise regiment this week. I hope to force myself to go home and dance/do situps and other stretches for 45 minutes 4 times a week. It doesn't seem like a chore if I am dancing to music I love. It just seems like I am at a club, alone, in my own house, wearing ugly ass exercise clothes. I danced to Siouxsie and the Banshees last night. "Kaleidoscope"..good album. I felt like I was 18 again. When I am alone I can do any dance moves I want. I can pretened I am a solid gold dancer. I can pretend I am a gypsy. I can pretend I am a nasty stripper. Hell, I can pretend I am Siouxsie and do a bunch of pretentious, dramatic hand movements, and flip my hair all around and noone will see me (thank god). That is why I don't like to dance/exercise if Jason is around. Actually, I do it anyway, but it is less comfortable (unless he gets up and does his silly dancing, then it is really fun!) I'm addicted to Little House On the Prairie. I got up 15 minutes early today in order to watch it..isn't that pathetic? I wish they'd show the older shows when Laura and Mary were little kids. All they have been showing are "Little House..A New Beginning"...The two episodes I watched (coudln't finish the 2nd one cuz I had to catch my bus) involved women dying in childbirth..pretty uplifting, huh? The first one also involved people dying in a goldmining camp of influenza. The 2nd one I watched had a midget man and lady (she had a "normal" baby and then she died). I guess Michael Landon was trying to be PC (before that term existed!) by including "little people." Michael Landon was pretty sexy, actually. I think I read somwhere that he could be a real prick though and was hard to work with on the show (control freak)..What else..Jason will be at his parents visiting his brother most of this weekend..he didn't invite me along, so I guess I ain't going. I don't know what the hell is going on with us. Last night, though, he did say "Maybe we should just be together" (I think we both have been feeling like we should get separated or divorced this past week..things feel REAL strained between us)..We also decided that if we were happier with other aspects of our lives (esp. our jobs, which we both don't like) that we would be happier in our relationship. I think this is definetly true! Maybe it'll help if we move to a new place (we plan to in October)..I just need to know that he and I want to still be together before we commit to moving to a new place. If he wants to leave, then I am perfectly happy just living on the Lake and not moving. It'd be pretty tight if I had to pay the rent myself, but I COULD do it if I had to. He then put on his wedding ring (which he always forgets to wear) and said "Well, if we are gonna stay married, I guess I should wear this." So, maybe things are on the way up for us. I don't know. I don't really care to think about it right now. Life is too short to be worrying about my so-called fucking problems!! I feel good today, though. I have been sleeping better and I seem to have more energy now that I'm exercising!! Tonight I'm gonna meet Jill at Silent Heart Nest..eat yummy food and then she'll take me to see the new house she/Eric and Maya just moved into. Should be fun!! Maybe I can even get her to do some polarity therapy on me. She might be too distracted right now, though. It doesn't work so well when she isn't concentrating (I can feel when she isn't concentrating)...I really hope she gets back in the swing of things as far as meditating, writing and practicing polarity therapy. Ever since Eric has come along, she's put all this by the wayside. She needs to focus a little less on the relationshiop and a little more on her own dreams, I think. I think she realizes this. We have a company meeting in 15 minutes to talk about "the numbers/the profits/the statistics"...how fucking boring. I hate these meetings..Oh well, at least I can just sit there and space out for an hour!!