Man, I feel like complete SHIT today. I had the WORST insomnia last night..I have no idea why. THen once I was asleep I woke up like 50 times (ok, more like 4 times) and then I had nightmares. I dreamed that I was trying to sell some Cd's and this girl from where I work, Stephanie, was also there trying to sell cds...we were next to each other in line and somehow they "lost" my cds but then I figured that she had somehow taken off/stolen my cds and while the people at the record store were putzing around I was about to be late to work. Then I was running (it was pouring rain and nighttime outside) and I was trying to find the building I worked in but I couldn't (I remember that I was wearing this long white dress, almost like a wedding dress, partly a nightgown) and I thought I had found One Union Square (that is the building I work in) but it turned out to be this old hotel. I was so tired and so frustrated and all I wanted to do was sleep. when I woke up in reality, all I wanted to do was sleep!! I hate Monday. Just like that boomtown rats song. I wish tommorrow was Thursday so I'd be off to Hawaii. Jason and I were cranky with each other all weekend..we took turns. I'd try to be nice and he'd be like "leave me alone..don't touch me" then last night he wanted to come in the bedroom and watch TV with me and I said in a very robot-like voice "I want to watch TV alone." and we slept in separate beds (hell, we do that almost everyday anyway). When we were at his parents I became very antisocial when everyone (sister-in-law, her parents) was around so after playing a little bit of Badmitton (sp?) which I was terrible at and eating a gigantic plate of food (I even at the plate...ha ha) I went downstairs and hid in the basement bedroom and took a nap. When I woke up Jay wanted to leave, thank god. Earlier that morning while Jay and I were still lying in bed he was being so mopey and said to me (for the hundredth time since we've been togehter" "Oh, maybe I should live alone. Sometimes I just want to live alone." I said (for the hundredth time) "Well Jay..Go ahead..noone is stopping you, but this time I have decided that if you move out, it is OVER cuz what is the point of being together or married if you can't even live with that person?" I think that scared him cuz he was like "Oh, I guess I didn't really mean that." I said "Well, then why the FUCK did you say something like that when you know it hurts me. If you just need more time alone, say that, don't be a drama-king and say "I need to move out." JESUS F"ING CHRIST! I wish he'd make up his mind. I told him to think about our relationshipo while I'm gone in Hawaai for 5 days. We'll see if he misses me or not. I'm sick of going round and round with him. Fuck it. Well, I can't think of anything positive to say, so I think I'll go. ROAR!

do the jerk * do the frug