2002-08-27 : Bacon, Butter, Broccolli, I Love Thee!!
I'd like to give a shout out (this phrase cracks me up "shout out" because I am so fucking white and so UN-ghetto..ha ha)..anyways..I want to give a shout out to BACON. I love you, Bacon. I'd also like to give a shout out to Butter and Wendy's cheeseburgers. You notice that I am not giving a shout out to anything in the green family. I'd like to give a shout out to broccolli. I love you, broccolli. THis is my question...brocolli is extremely good for you, but is that health benefit counteracted when I drench it in lemon and butter sauce? Good, I didn't think so. My ode to broccoli:

Broccolli spear, to my heart you are near. To chew on your yellow green head, keeps my strength well fed.

(* I won't mention that part about the gas that broccolli and cabbage give me..it is hereditary. Just ask my mom and brother*)

Um...yes, I did just take a klonopin. Yippee Do Dah Day! I have to work 10 hours today and tomorrow (and 2 days next week) in order to have enough "PTO" time acrued or I might get in twouble wiff my bosses (actually..I don't really give a fuck about that)..I'd be OVERJOYED if they'd fire me for something like taking a pre-planned vacation without the necessary amount of PTO time.

Not to change the subject..but I'd like to say something to any current or potential bus drivers that drive my route (yes, esp. You, you fucking bitch that blew me off hardcore when I was running for the bus..waving my arms like a goddamn psychotic snowangel...you were EARLY you stupid hag...I had to dodge cars against the light to catch you..you were STILL IN THE BUS ZONE when I arrived at your door and you coulda just opened the door and let me on..esp. since I am a regular and you have seen many many times)..but know..you did a sarcastic little wave and you were driving off and took off without me. THANKS a lot, FUCKER! Ok, I can take a deep breath now and let all of that go!

I gotta get this fashion faux-paus thing off my chest. It is really shallow, but I never said I wasn't shallow at times (I just try to hide it by subscribing to my "Daily Buddhist Wisdom Sight") but here are fashion no-nos..#1 I depise those long "sweater dusters"..you know..they have a belt and look like natty robes to me...terrible, terrible idea.. Don't wear those, kids! #2 I hate it when people where white or tan shoes with dark socks...what are you people thinking? #3 Ladies that commute. I know it is the ultimate comfort to wear your geeky white running shoes when you are walking to work while wearing your nice suit or long, slinky dress or skirt, but I gotta tell you...just wear some dark, flat comfie shoes and you won't have to look like a fucking moron!

Thank you! #4 Those jeans and pants that are cut off at the top. We know what I am talking about. I love HIP Huggers...the pelvic bones are a sexy thing on a woman, but they gotta be traditinal hip huggers..now of this "lets just cut off the tops of our pants things"...EEESH!

I had another school dream last night. I couldn't tell if I was in college, high school or way back in elementary school. I also couldn't tell if I was a teacher or student. Then my dream shifted and Jason admitted to me he'd slept with someone. He introduced me to her or I ran into her or something and she as blonde and stupid as shit and I was just screaming at both of them over and over. It felt good. FUnny thing is..I KNOW he hasn't slept with anyone. I would be able to tell. If he does, fine..but he better wear a condom..not fall in love, and it should be a very short fling, and he better fess up that he did it (but spare me ANY of the details..I don't wanna know what she looks like and how her boobs are bigger than mine or that she works at barnes and noble, ok?)

Oh, yea (I am farting like mad right now..silent and violent..it even smells)...my tummy hurts..I actually like to disgust my co-workers by doing nasty shit like that because many of them really get on my nerves.

I can't believe I just admitted that. jesus.. I think it is time for me to go and be a good girl!!