Hatred. There are so many kinds of hatred, but the worst is definetly self-hatred. Ha! How cliched, Stacey. Good one! GOOD FUCKING ONE!! So, somebody I barely even know hurts my feelings (Yes, I'm that pathetic) and you know what MY fave thing to do is? Rip myself fucking apart. It's great. Just watch. See this heart in here? Any volunteers? GREAT! Here's a baseball hat. Let's rip that fucking heart out and hang it from a tree. Look at it. Sad, bloody, dirty plastic bag of heart. Now we are at a birthday party. Time to break open that fucking pinata heart.In that waste of space in my chest, let's just shove in an old, rotting piece of wood. Let's write "No Entrance" on it. That'll work just fine. Smash that fucking pulsing heart with a bat and watch all those pointless and sometimes poignant pieces of paper fall out. Memories and feelings...let them just get scooped up after the party and thrown into the trash. In fact, while you are at it, why don't you just put cigarettes out on my eyes and cut my fucking head off.

I'm nothing but a blow-up doll. Watch me float away.

*****

I wish I had some Sylvia Plath quote to end with or something. Fuck. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

do the jerk * do the frug