Wow. I haven't written since Monday. No reason in particular, except I haven't been at work for the past two days. No, I"m not sick. I just can't GO. The job is so fucking boring. I'm sorta depressed and lethargic and just feel like sleeping insane amounts of hours and watching really bad TV and I don't really feel like I have much to say right now, so this will probably be a short entry.

I'm reading a book called "Midwives"...it's very fascinating. If I ever have children, I think I'll definetly have them in the hospital. I really LOVE the idea of having a home birth, but I'm far too neurotic about my own health and body to trust that everything would go fine. Plus I am not one to think that natural childbirth would be a wonderful and fulfilling experience. I definetly would want the drugs/epidural. Some women seem to think that going through all that unnecessary pain and suffering makes the birth special. I don't relate to that. They say they want to feel everything that is happening. Well, I definetly don't want to FEEL myself being almost ripped apart by my baby. I'd be happy when the baby was there, but I don't need to be a fucking martyr. I suppose every female is different, though. I admire those that do it naturally, and I think having it at your own home would be wonderful, but it just ain't for me. My sister had both of her kids at home and my friend Jill had her daughter at home, too. Hell, I'll probably never have kids. I just don't see it in my future. I can't really imagine myself with them, though I do have "my biological clock is ticking" moments..but they aren't all that frequent. Well, I'm gonna go eat a frozen Tv dinner (don't worry, I'll cook it first!) Auf Wiedersehen!

do the jerk * do the frug