I feel slightly better today but still pretty down. My emotions and moods are just something I have to deal with. I'm wearing a beautiful amber necklace (the amber is the strangest color of amber I've ever seen..it's almost dark red/orange) that my sister gave me for my birthday hoping it'll cheer me up. I didn't sleep well last night. At 3 am I woke (which is usually when I wake..I don't know why, but it freaks me out since it's "the wiching hour") and I was all alone in our apartment (Jay spent the night at his friends..I haven't seen or talked to him since I told him to leave the apartment) and when I woke up my entire bedroom reeked to high heaven of marijuana! It must have been coming through the vents, radiators of something...it smelled like someone was right in the next room getting high, but there was nobody THERE! I actually hate the smell of pot smoke if it's really strong and lingering...I wonder if it was a ghost..you know how they can leave lingering scents...actually, nah...I don't sense any spirits lurking around anywhere in my building....feels totally un-haunted though it is from 1909 (or 1913?)....I couldn't fall back asleep for an hour and I'm tired now. I can't think of much else to say. I wrote a poem last night that I think is beautiful (it came to me while in the tub) and I'll post it here when I get a chance. I'm on a poetry kick. Thanks to all that have wrote notes of concern and encouragement about how I've been feeling about the war, work and Jay..I appreciate knowing that people care about me!

do the jerk * do the frug