2003-05-09 : A Twilight Day Dream
It's hot as hell in this office today. On these fairly warm (but not hot summer) Spring days the building can't regulate it's temperature and one day it'll feel like they have the air on full blast when it's only 50 degrees outside and then today it's closer to 65 and they seemingly have the heat on. Makes no fucking sense, and here I am sweating up a storm.

Last night I came home and for once I didn't pick up a book or watch a movie. I did try to find where my tarot card sets (I have 2) were and I STILL haven't been able to locate what box they might be in. I haven't seen them since we moved. It's driving me crazy. Maybe it's just an excuse to go out and buy a brand new set of cards. Yea...I like that idea ALOT! Anyways, I lit 3 green candles (no significance to the color really, I Just like details) and I burnt some sandalwood incense and I just laid on my bed. I stared at the candles. I stared at the windows, whose blinds were fully open and watched as the sunlight changed gradually on the brick building next to me. I looked up at the apartment windows that I could see in the next building. Somebody had their kitchen window open and I watched hypnotically as their faded white floral patterned curtains floated in the wind. There was no light on in their kitchen and I imagined that they weren't home. I wondered to myself what their kitchen would smell like. Rosemary and cumin and cheap curry powder? 3 day old "the trash needs to go out" garbage can?? Would they have dead flowers in a vase on their kitchen table (the way I often do, being too lazy to ditch the dead flowers)? Would they have a cat calendar hanging on their wall? What sort of magnets (if any) would they have on their frig? I wanted them to come home and flip the switch so I could catch a glance of a face, a profile, an arm, the back of a head. But their window remained dark and the sun went down and I felt like I was floating..I felt like I was barely even breathing as I lay there on my threadbare comforter, seeing the candles flicker out of the corner of my eye, my hands on auto-pilot, stroking the back of Opal's neck where the fur suddenly feels thicker and smells warm and spicy.