I was telling my brother (he's visiting my mom in Hawaii right now) about my unexpected romance with Larry and he was kinda being judgemental and giving me shit like "Your still married, etc." Maybe he was just teasing and stuff (which he does alot) but I just wanted to say "Fuck off, Mike...it's my life. You obviously can't understand what my marriage is like w/Jay and the fact that we are separated. We ARE separated. We CAN do what we want." Maybe I'm just stupid for not taking marriage as seriously as some others or maybe I'm just more open-minded. Yes, I said some vows but mostly it all involves paperwork, in my opinion. Yes, Jay and I loved each other at one point, but then it started to fade along time ago. What we are left with now is a deep friendship. Are we just supposed to jump right up and get divorced because people are so morally rightetous that they feel what I'm doing is illegal or sinful or something. The thing is..my brother isn't a conversative person. I just never really told my family what was going on with Jay and I cuz I'm very secretive about so many things. I don't know WHY i keep things inside so much, but it's just my nature to not be very revealing.

Just got a call from Jay, he's bummed cuz he is gonna lose his job after all. They've choosen somebody else to take over the integrated bus-driver/activities coordinator position. He'll still be working there for about a month while the person gets trained, though. He just admitted to me that he's not mad at me, but that he's jealous about Larry, mostly because he hasn't found somebody. I told him that there is nothing wrong with being alone and somebody will come along whenever they do. Poor guy.

Anyways, I need to work.

do the jerk * do the frug