2003-12-08 : Ridiculous Drunken Fights, a Christmas Party, and Making Up
What a dramatic weekend. It's really too shameful (or maybe I'm too ashamed) to go into, so for once I'm just keeping my mouth shut about most of it.

Larry and I had a fight that was pretty stupid but turned pretty serious. The most terrible fight we've ever had. He even punched the wall and now he has a big sore on his hand. He certainly has a bad temper...but it takes alot for it to come out. I'm not gonna say that the fight was entirely his fault or mine, it was both. It started over something trivial about how I was listening to him when we were at the Shitty bar. We were talking about the best time to visit Holland. He thought I was arguing with him, but I was in fact, just giving my own personal opinion of when I'd want to go. He got irritated and decided to leave. We'd both been drinking too much, esp. me, and we both agree that we need to quit for awhile or altogether because we ALWAYS fight when we are drunk and it is so stupid, plus there is no reason for me to keep getting drunk...it does me no good, I shouldn't be drinking on the antidepressant and sedative I take anyway. It's not that I think I'm developing a problem with alcohol because I only get drunk about once a week (maybe that is alot, though..I don't really know...) but that drinking just isn't good for me anymore. Needless to say, I have spent alot of time either angry or really fucking depressed this weekend. My mood became better by Saturday evening, though. Larry and I made up even though we had to hash it out (I insisted that we fight it out, even if it was 3 am) instead of the other option, which was him packing a bag and driving 30 miles to his grandparents house to get away from me (and he was going to do this, but I convinced him not to, though I had to almost physically stop him, by holding on to his car door and insisting that I would NOT let go if he drove away, so he couldn't leave)...I didn't want him driving drunk and I wanted to resolve the fight. Anyways, things are fine with us now.

Saturday evening we drove to his grandparent's house and went with them down to their neighbor's Christmas party. That was nice and mellow..we didn't know anyone, so we mostly sat on a couch eating cheese and crackers and looking at books like "The Guinness Book of World Records 2000" and "Ripley's Believe it or Not"...left the party about 9:30. His grandparents decided to go into town to a bar (they like to play video poker) and Kendra and Brandon were gone, so we just watched Tv a little and went to bed pretty early..we were exhausted because the night of our fight (Friday) we didn't go to bed until about 5:30 am.

Yesterday we ate breakfast at the grandparents and then I laid in bed reading "Mirror, Mirror" and I ended up taking a little nap. I was avoiding being around Brandon and his grandma because sometime they are so fucking LOUD, esp. Brandon, and it gets on my nerves. I even wore earplugs while reading to block them out. Sometimes I just need total peace and quiet.

Last night we ordered a pizza, laid on the ground and watched "The Outer Limits" (which was a good one about time travel back to the Civil War) and I finished "Mirror, Mirror"....we intended on falling asleep earlier than we did, but I guess we felt the need to do more making up in our own special way..God, I love making up!! So, I'm tired this morning, but I feel much happier. Happy Monday!!