I went to the mall today. I requested job applications from Spencer's Gifts (Ha! Can you see me at Spencers...the dark store, the loud music (in fact it was Rammstein when I was in there) selling fun sex paints, stupid over-the-hill joke cards and gag gifts and lava lamps and Kiss dolls, etc.?) Ross Dress for Less, B. Dalton books and this other place that stops people in the mall and asks them if they'd like to get paid to take a survey about various things (sounds less threatening than calling people on the phone..) The mall "interviewer" place (called Quick Stop) is the only place ACTUALLY hiring right now. I really don't want to work at the mall, but...I will if I have to. At least I could get Mall Employee Discounts at the Food Court. Today I ate a "taco cheeseburger" from TacoTime. I also was paid $2.00 by QuickStop for doing a survey on hand lotion (this is how I found out they were hiring). I also went to the $1.00 cinema and saw "Mona Lisa Smile"...it was fine, no lasting impressions..I don't like Julia Roberts, never have. The thing I really liked about that movie were the hairstyles, shoes, red lipstick and gorgeous sweater sets, skirts and dresses (it took place in 1953-1954)...It was just a fun fashion-show movie for me. Larry and I have been fighting again. Actually, he got mad at me (and in my opinion I deserve an apology which I SORT OF got out of him today...SORT OF) and I really don't think I did anything to deserve his temper tantrum. He even slept downstairs last night, which hurt, but fuck it. I know I shouldn't be this way, but every time his temper rears it's ugly head or we fight (and esp. if I think it's entirely his fault) my love for him goes away a little bit, and here all along I didn't think I held grudges. I think I do, actually and I'm not proud of it. I'm still feeling the sting from the way he acted last night and it just makes me want to give him the cold shoulder. Why do we feel the need to "punish" those we love because they have hurt our feelings?? I'm sure things will be back to normal, but right now I feel like taking my tax return (which I should get in 7-10 days) and using it to take the train/bus up to Seattle for 3 or 4 days to get away from Larry (and because I'm extremely lonely here and I miss Seattle and the places I used to go and the friends I went with to those places. The matter of the fact is this: I feel like running away.

do the jerk * do the frug