2004-12-14 : No robots, please!
Hello! Thank You for Calling Harry and David. This is -------, how may I help you? NO WAIT! Scratch that? How can YOU help me?

1. When I ask for your quick service number, I don't mind waiting for you to find it on your catalog, I really don't. However, please don't read it back to me as if I'm not trying to type the 10 digits in as you speak. I do not type at the speed of light (just close to it!)

2. When I say "just one moment" that means you should be quiet or ask how my day is going. It usually means that I am changing screens or that my computer is slow in retrieving information. Please do not ramble off who you are, what you want to order and to whom you want to send it to. I will just ask you to repeat all of what you just said, anyway. Hold your fucking horses!

3. Please have your address list (with CORRECT addresses) ready. Please do not say "Well, I know the street but not the house number." I will be polite to you, but will be secretly thinking you are a total idiot.

4. Please decide exactly what you want to order (and have the ITEM# (not just the item name) ready BEFORE you call. This will save us both tons of time.

5. If I make little jokes to keep the pace going, please pretend to laugh, otherwise I will think you are a robot. Dead silence after I say something like "How's your day going?" makes me hate you.

6. I really will be patient with you even if you do change your mind on what you want to order. IN return, be patient with me if I need to re-type something or put you on hold to look up some information I do not know off the top of my god damn head.

7. Last of all, treat me like you'd want to be treated if YOU were doing my job. It'll make me respect you and possibly want to hug you (just kidding on that last part!) Thanks!
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This ends the public service announcement for today. Don't MAKE me repeat it!
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...Ho,hum. I've been awake since Larry got up for work (4 am) and figured I'd distract myself until I can fall back asleep again. It is sort of nice to just lie in bed, relaxing, but on the other hand, sometimes it's annoying as shit when I am dead tired and can't fall back asleep.

I must have kept him up half the night (he made a comment after he kissed me goodbye this morning such as "You can go back to snoring all you want now." OOPS! I feel guilty (somewhat) for keeping him awake, but in all honesty, I don't think I can be blamed for what I do in my sleep. I don't think he holds it against me, though. He is just tired and cranky. Serves him right for choosing to work at 5 am. Who in the right mind?.....Anyways, maybe I will try sleeping in the "guava" room tonight to give him some rest.

I don't have much money to spend on Christmas gifts, but I have gotten all of my shopping done that I was able to afford to do. Larry and I still need to purchase one more little thing for my mom. We already got her the soundtrack to "Ray" (which I want to burn...good stuff!) I can't afford to buy for my sister or her kids or my brother or my stepdad. Maybe in January I'll send them belated Xmas presents, or maybe I won't. I will send them all cards, though, which I do every year. I need to remember to purchase stamps today, finish my cards and get those suckers in the mail before it's too late.

Larry's xmas presents this year are theme-based (which came to my brilliant mind while shopping for a tiny fake xmas tree and trimmings a few days ago)....I know he likes the band, Pink Martini, so I bought him their 2004 release and I also bought him (us, actually) a Stainless Steel Cocktail Mixer (you know..it's got the cup and lid and strainer) and also two nice Martini glasses. I don't like traditional Martini's (but I love eating gin-soaked olives) but I like the flavored martini's..appletini's, lemondrops, etc.

I already know what Larry got me for Christmas because he bought one item in front of me at the art opening last weekend. His friend Roni Simone makes beautiful velvet clothing and I tryed on this long, sleeveless dark green velvet dress. It's gorgeous (and was expensive, but Larry cut some secret deal with Roni behind my back)...we are gonna wrap it up and I'll open it on Xmas, just to be in the spirit of things. I can't wait to wear it. I think I'll do that on Christmas Day. I happen to have this form-fitting, long-sleeved dark green velvet shirt that would look great underneath of it and would add some warmth to the dress. Larry also bought me The Pogues' "Rum, Sodomy and the Lash" (which is my favorite) because I've been wanting to re-own it for years. He couldn't wait until Christmas to show it to me (He was too excited..it was cute) so I will wrap that up too and re-open it on Christmas.

I have the next two days off and then I work my last 5 days straight at Harry and David. I've gotten used to it, but it leaves me so drained at the end of 8 hours. I won't be signing up to do it next year, that's for sure.

Mom arrives in Eugene exactly a week from today. I cannot WAIT to see her and go touring about the coastline and go hang out in Portland for a day. She is SERIOUSLY considering moving to Portland. She is even checking out two massage schools up there while she's here. She thinks she might make the big move in August, after her lease is up. I'm totally psyched!

I think I'm going to go see "Closer" today. It's the new Mike Nichols movie and Jude Law is sexy.

Sleepy-time.