2005-02-19 : The way NOT to start a job and a Weird Night Out on the Town
I feel like going back to bed. I'm tired and slightly hung over. Last night was one of the first nights in a LONG time where I thought to myself, "You know, I really need a drink. Make that SEVERAL drinks!" I've never been one to get drunk in order to sort of numb out stress but I most certainly did that last night.

The new job is pretty stressful for me right now. I feel like I'm a chicken running around with it's head cut off and I feel like the people that are "training" me (if you could even CALL it proper training) are rather frazzled themselves. The way things have started off has left a slightly sour taste in my mouth, but I'm hoping things will get better.

First off, I originally was to be working at Hillside Heights and I was looking forward to that because I really connected to the administrator there and because I liked the neighborhood. But she called me up Wednesday night and told me they were throwing a curve ball my way. I guess the administrative asst. at ANOTHER facility (all owned by the same place) had quit/was fired and there was a more urgent need for them to put me in the asst. position over at this OTHER facility, Green Valley (makes me think of the Jolly Green Giant, OR I mistakenly want to say that I'm working at Green Acres..ha ha!) Anyways, I was disappointed in the switch of location and I had to have a little reassurance from the administrator that my NEW boss was actually a really great guy. He had been in the interview with me and the original administrator because he knew he was gonna have to replace his assistant. He was nice, but a little stiff. Anyways, I told her that I was a little disappointed but that I would be the assistant over at Green Valley. My new boss, Andy, called me right after I talked to the other administrator and thanked me for being so flexible and told me he looked forward to working with me. He also apologized because he was going to be in a meeting out of town on Thursday (my first full day of work) and that he'd been out of the office on Friday as well. It was a little strange starting my first two days at a new job without any contact with my actual boss, so I'm looking forward to him being there on Monday!!

The head of this company's HR department has taken me under his wing the past two days. He resembles a slightly less heavy Alfred Hitchcock...which amuses me and he's really funny. Anyways, I spent Wednesday over at "corporate" (where he works) for 3 hours just getting to know some people there. I was at Green Valley on Thursday. Thursday started out to be really irritating. First off, I got there at 8:30 (actually probably 8:20) and I waited 20 minutes for someone (the Hitchcock look-a-like) to arrive,so I was little irritated that they were late in showing up. I got a tour of the facility (which is pretty much like a nursing home, but it doesn't smell bad, THANK GOD!) The next irritation was the fact that my new office/front desk area was filthy and seemed like a dumping place for a bunch of crap. Hitchcock guy was deeply embarrassed and also fairly livid that it was left in such a dirty condition (I'm not sure if my new boss just never NOTICED or what the deal is) but we spent the first couple of hours rearranging things and CLEANING (it was so dusty and the floor looked like it hadn't been vacuumed in months...horrible)...Mostly I just sat around while Hitchcock did the cleaning. They threw another curve ball at me when Hitchcock had to go back to Corporate for awhile to do some stuff, so I was basically LEFT ALONE for several hours in the afternoon to fend for myself (though there was some people at the facility who said they'd be there to help if I had questions)...I REALLY don't like being pushed into the fire like that. They gave me some basics about answering the front phones and how to transfer calls and page people. The fact that I actually had to answer the phones on my first day made me fairly angry. I am now adept at paging, though, let me tell you. It's weird when people call and ask for someone and you don't know AnYBODY and whether they are a resident at the place or on staff, but I picked it up a little. I was REALLY stressed out by the time I left on Thursday. I still can't believe I wasn't really given a proper orientation or anything. Yesterday wasn't quite as bad. They had me spend the day at Corporate to learn about the Timeclock/Timecard system...where I fixed people's mis-punches, entered PTO hours they had coming to them, etc. At least i feel like I received fairly decent training in tnat area, even though I wonder if I'll remember it come Monday morning. I was really tired and frazzled by the 5pm last night from trying to retain so much fucking information. I am so grateful and happy to have a job, but I can't wait until I feel more confident and less stupid. I hate being the new kid on the block and having to bombard my brain with trying to learn a new job. That is always the worst! Still, I haven't given up hope. I know that once I get more familiar with everything and know what I'm doing that this job might actually be one that I enjoy, but it's too early to tell yet. I just feel frazzled.

I met Larry at Max's last night at 6. I was supposed to have counseling at 7, but I decided to cancel and re-schedule. Being so frazzled, I felt like having to go to counseling was nothing but another hassle/chore and I just wanted to relax. We didn't eat dinner until later so I was drinking on an empty stomach and feeling tipsy rather quickly. This older gentlemen named Wallace started talking to me while Larry was busy playing lots of pool. I must have "weirdo magnet" stamped across my forehead. If I hadn't been sort of drunk I would have ignored Wallace but I become this weird social butterfly when I drink and I want to meet people (and they usually end up being weirdos!) and Wallace wasn't all THAT weird, he was just a drunk and lonely 64 year old wearing a rumpled suit. He was also a bit of a dirty old man as he kept trying to hold my hand and touch my knee. After awhile I just gave up and let him. I figured that if it gave him a little thrill, it wasn't really hurting me. Still, it was all rather stupid. He kept trying to convince me (and Larry) to come to his apartment to drink wine and listen to Mendelssohn's Third Symphony..but of course, we didn't go! He also has a PHD in physics and worked for many years as a Scientist at DuPont, so though he had interesting things to say...he was pretty much nothing but a dirty old man. I felt sorry for him because I knew that he was lonely.

We decided to go to the "shitty" bar after Max's, which was just stupid because I didn't need another drink, and we ran into some people we knew and I talked to T. about music and it was fun and then she started hitting on me which wasn't a big deal (esp. because I was drunk and liked the attention) but at the same time it made me a little uncomfortable because I know so much about her through my roomie, Chris, who is her friend. We are more just acquaintances. At one point she kissed me quickly on the mouth and I just started feeling rather stupid about the whole evening, esp. when she convinced me to go to this nasty strip club around the corner. We were there about 20 minutes before Larry showed up and I was ready to go the fuck home. Once I got home I was lying in bed thinking to myself "Why do I do such foolish things when I get drunk?" and I was feeling a little sick and mostly disgusted with myself for letting Wallace grope me and for letting T. hit on me, and I just wanted to be left alone...I was also dwelling on the stress of this new job and so I was in a bad, drunk mood while trying to fall asleep, which I eventually did.

Anyways, I'm glad yesterday is nothing but a memory at this point. I just want to relax the rest of this weekend to prepare myself for the stress of Monday morning.