I'm sort of in a nice, sedated space. I had to take an extra one this afternoon, because whilst walking through the Fred Meyer parking lot, back to the car (where Larry was waiting for me) I suddenly had the strong twinge of a panic attack over take me. I happened so fast. One moment, I was fine, and then I noticed that the world looked tilted..it's hard to explain and then I got the disassociative feeling that I haven't actually had for eons, and I touched the car door and opened it, but couldn't actually FEEL my hands doing this, nor could I feel my hands when I put on my seatbelt. It's almost like that slow-motion thing that happened to me on the rare occassion that I would smoke pot. It scared the crap out of me. I told Larry what was going on and I started to panic about how much worse it would get. I immediately popped a sedative and then we drove home, and I felt better..but only SORT OF. It wasn't until I had cried at home..a little out of fear, and a little because my body seemed to need to do that to calm my nerves down, and it wasn't until Larry stroked my back and my feet for 5 minutes and it wasn't until the sedative FULLY kicked in (20 minutes?) that the panic left my body like some sort of storm front. Goodbye electrical storm, Hello, gentle breeze and glowing sun. Now I'm all like "I wanna lie down and sleepy sleep cuz I'm feeling a little dopey from the sedative in a nice, MELLOW way". Thank you, Klonopin..You are my sunshine.

do the jerk * do the frug