2009-04-27 : -
Sometimes I really hate my brain. My anxious brain that dwells and dwells on stuff to the point of me getting all worked up.

Tomorrow I have my 6 week post partum visit. I'm assuming an internal exam will be done (and it should be..I had a third degree tear)..but I have always been scared/phobic about exams and still am DESPITE HAVING A BABY! That makes no sense...Having this exam will be small peanuts compared to having a baby (with no drugs!) but I can't stop dwelling and freaking out about it.

Larry and I tried to have sex a few days ago and he could barely get in before it just felt too uncomfortable (and I bled very slightly)...He thinks the stitching up left everything really tight..it is like being a virgin again..I am not looking forward to the pelvic OR to having sex (though we'll use lube next time and Larry is really patient and understanding!)

*deep breath, Stacey..take a deep breath!"