I'm BACK! Where the fuck do I even begin to describe the BLISS that was this weekend I spend in Eugene, OR. ????First off, I'll tell the bad parts about the train ride DOWN there. I left work at 4:30 on Friday afternoon. It felt strange and really worldly to be carrying a suitcase all around downtown Seattle. So, I take the #36 to the train station and walk in, only what I'd always THOUGHT was the train station was actually Metro bus headquarters. I felt stupid (esp. since I"ve lived here so long) but the kind gentlemen in a military uniform directed me to the less fancy building across the street. I got my tickets and boarding pass and was irritated that we had assigned seating, but it was very crowded on a Friday night. I wanted to punch the guy That I had to sit next to and first (later he turned out to be very nice and had lived in Champaign for an extended time...small world)...but at first he had this problem. This big old nervous habit of clearing his throat every fucking 2 minutes. Thank God I brought my headphones and walkman. The other highlight of the trip was the group of about 7-8 loud, drunken "frat" types that were riding down to Portland. They were about 4 rows behind me and they juts kept drinking more and more and kind of bothering certain passengers (They muttered that I had nice legs when I walked by...I felt flattered and insulted at the same time. But I guess I will take compliments where I can get them!)...Anyways, even with my headphones cranked I could hear these jackasses. I knew it was gonna be a LONG ride. The train left on time. I ate a sandwich..drank a couple of beers and just zoned out and listened to music most of the time. They did show 2 movies which I watched but aren't worth mentioning. It killed time, though. We kept having little delays throughout the trip and I knew my train wasn't gonna be in Eugene at exactly 11:35 pm.

Finally we get to about 10 minutes outside Eugene and they have to wait for like 30 fucking minutes for some freight trains to pass (since the freight trains own the damn track between Portland and Eugene)..I thought we'd be in limbo for eternity...always 10 minutes away from arrival. It was excruciating towards the end, esp. because I'd worked all day and the train didn't arrive in Eugene until about 12:20....almost an hour late.

So, Tracita and Hans don't have a car, so she had arranged to have her housemate, Larry, pick me up, which was very cool of him (MUCH more about Larry later...) He was laughing (He'd been drinking somewhat) and apologizing for not picking me up in his own car (he has a NICE 74 MG)..His headlights on his car died/went out before he came to get me, so he borrowed his friend Jody's GORGEOUS long red retro convertible and we road in that. Let me just mention that I secretly or not so secretly have harbored a tiny "thing" for Larry since the last time I was down visiting Tracy a year ago. I found him charming, tan, very sweet and just really cute (I looked at his legs alot.what a perve I am!)..Anyways...last time I was down there to visit I had Jay with me..so, alas, the little "crush" on Larry went on a secret shelf in my head.

Anyways, we went back to their house where I gave Trace a big hug and met Hans for the first time. He gave me a huge hug and kisses on both cheeks (three times I think)...Hans is...Hans..Wow. I love Hans. He just makes me smile and he adores Tracy so much and they are cute together, plus he is alot of fun to be around. Can't wait to hang out with them. That first night, even though it was 12:45 and I was dead tired...we went to Jim's Landing, which is this shitty dive bar within walking distance to their house. I drank a beer and smoked some cigarettes. We made several toasts to inane (and not so inane things)...Then we went back to the house. Now, I didn't know exactly WHERE I should sleep (no extra beds, guestrooms) but Larry insisted I take his bed and he'd find someplace downstairs. I thought "God..what a sweet guy." So I slept up in his loft room (which is really nice and sort of isolated from the rest of the house and has a very good "vibe" to it..it must be a Larry vibe)..can you see where I'm going with this? I had decided that night that I still had a crush on Larry and now that I was separated and he was single again, I couldn't figure how to go about seducing him or even if he'd be into that.

Saturday, Larry had organized this big BBQ as sort of a welcome-home Tracy/Hans (and maybe a Happy Birthday Scott (their other roommate..and then there is Chris and Amy...) party, too. Can you tell I"m fading? The BBQ was nice and Larry worked so hard grilling so much meat..he was very organized and efficient..I was just staring at his legs while he was at the grill, I must admit. Tracy and I felt sorta anti-social though (and we didn't know most of the people..Larry's friends, other people...I don't know who they were...) so we sat out on the front porch (they also have a kickass HUGE back patio/porch that has a great view of skyline, hills, trees)..but anyways, Tracy and I chatted, smoked..drank a little beer..took her cat, Elwood on a walk down the street to the Pioneer Cemetery Park and just were kind of not very talkative..both tired and in weird mind states. Anyways, about 10, when the BBQ had pretty wound down...Hans, Tracy, Larry and I (see how this was already subtly "paired off"...not planned, though!) went down to Jim's landing where we all (esp. me) managed to get pretty drunk. I play a TERRIBLE game of pool, but I was playing anyway and dancing to "Hot for Teacher" which I just had to play on the jukebox for some reason. I like me some ridiculous kitschy songs sometimes (Sorry if I offend any REAL Van Halen fans that might be reading!)...

So, enough was enough and none of us needed to drink more. We were walking back and a few houses from their house I suddenly decided I just HAD to sit down in the middle of the street (??? who knows the rational for this)...but Larry kinda helped me up, escorted me into the house. I fell on the couch giggling in a way only drunken idiots can giggle (idiots like me, anyways)...now, I felt I was brave enough to come on to Larry at this point...he was sitting on the edge of the couch and I kind flopped my head on his lap and just laid there...he put his arm on me and I felt the sparks FLLLLYY! But I was being a chickenshit. I stumbled up his steep and potentially neck-breaking steps to his room and managed to put my jammies on. He was leaving his room after brushing his teeth as I was entering the room so I decided to go for it and I half hugged/half clung to him for a minute and said "Thanks Larry" and he obviously didn't know what to do...he smiled and I walked away, wanting to kick my own fucking ass for being so vague. So I was lying down on his bed when I just couldn't take it anymore..I stumbled BACK downstairs and said "Hey Larry..come upstairs for a sec..I want to tell you something" (Whoa..aren't I CLEVER?) and He came up and said "Do you need something" and I was standing real close to him and said "Larry..I hate thinking about you not sleeping in your own bed..it really is ok if you just wanna sleep up here w/me..It won't make me uncomfortable!" He got this shy and strange look on his face and said "No, No..I'll be fine...it'd be more comfortable on the couch." Well, I thought..JESUS..I'm gonna have to hit Larry over the head with a two-by-four to get him to "catch my drift"..DAMN! So before he could walk away...I touched his shoulder, sort of rolled my eyes and said "Um, LARRY! In case you didn't understand..I am COMING ON TO YOU!" He got quiet and smiled and then he said "Ok, I"ll be right back"....

Well, I'm getting all worked up just thinking about what proceeded to happen in his bed. Obviously we'd had this pent-up lust for each other for awhile (plus neither of us had been getting any sex for AWHILE!)..Needless to say...I'm having trouble sitting down.

*sigh*...it was AMAZING. I've never known a man to be so INTO sex and all that goes with it. I'll just put it down for the record now that so far in my life, Larry has been the best sexual partner I have EVER come across. He made me want more...even when my little privates were saying "STOP...too much!" I couldn't stop and I couldn't get him to stop. He's insatiable. Which made me feel really good to be lusted after like that. It also felt so GREAT to have such a strong urge to have sex every night, several times...havent' done that in ages..if ever. There just a really good spark and flamy chemistry between us. It's hard to not touch each other. I'm trying to remain calm and rational and not get totally infatuated or think about the future too much or the "what if I fall in love" question...but that is easier said than done, cuz when I get infatuated with somebody I get MAJORLY so...I fall HARD. But I know not to call it "Love" right away. Right now, it's just lust and he is a great person and that's good enough for me. The real fucking shame is that we live 5 1/2 hours apart. I hope to have visit Seattle within the next month (either w/Tracy and Hans or alone)...but a month is a long time to go without some of his bedroom talents. Ok, time to go...I'm too worked up. He drove me to the train station and kissed me sweetly before I boarded today (I was having so much fun that I stayed in Eugene an extra day...to have more time w/Trace and Hans, but I'll fully admit that I was also staying for another night of being in that man's bed. OH MAMA! Anyways...all the OUCH! was worth it!!

Jay seems to have moved some of his stuff but not all..I need him to move most of it and give me the keys..I don't want him thinking he can just come and let himself in whenever he wants. He doesn't live here anymore..doesn't pay rent. I feel strange about Jay right now. Like, I'm not sure what to say about how I feel about Larry. Of course I want to hang out w/Jay..he's my best friend, but is it gonna be strange NOW? We'll see.

OH! A little note: RUTHIEBAT, I missed you too, baby! I also returned home tonight to find a special mix-tape made by my diaryland buddy: BUDDY L. SAVAGE (xmas-face)...I havent' listened to it, but I will on the way to work tommorrow..looks like it'll work my socks AND undies off! As a special bonus he threw in a homemade "I love you Nancy Sinatra" lighter (or I THINK it's Nancy....she looks damn haggard)..THANK YOU, BUDDY!!

zzzzzzzzzzzz

do the jerk * do the frug