Whew. It's been a long weekend, and I'm tired but I had a nice time. Let's backtrack to Friday. I went to my interview at Internal Medicine (this was for a "permanent" job) and really wasn't too impressed with the place. Now, I know beggars can't be choosers as far as jobs, but I've chosen to take the "temp" job that was offered to me instead of the "permanent" job (that was ALSO offered to me)...When I was waiting in the waiting room of Internal Medicine to be called in for my interview, there was only 1 over-worked receptionist, and there were constantly about 5-6 people in line (sometimes even out the DOOR!) to pay their co-pays. This in itself was a bad sign of "good customer care" to me. My interview with Corky and some other blonde lady went fine. I convinced them how well I could do the job, etc. But I just had this bad "vibe" about working there. Plus, the pay wasn't gonna be much more (if any) than the temp job and I wouldn't have any of my benefits (like health insurance) kick in for 90 days..they didn't have 401k, only some lame IRA plan that you couldn't participate in until you'd been with the job for 4 years, not to mention that with all the job duties they described I'd have to do, I had this sinking feeling that the job was really a job that should be done by 2 people, not one. I told them I really wanted the job and that I had an offer of another job on Monday and I needed to find out an answer quickly and I left there confidently, but as soon as I walked out of that building I realized "I won't work there..even if they offer me the position." I just had a bad feeling/strong intuition about that job..that I would miserable quickly if I chose to work there. I think I'm explaining all of this to justify to myself why I am taking the less "practical" the less "obvious" choice and going with the temp job instead of the "perm" job with the "benefits" etc (the benefits were terrible, though)...I think the truth is that I feel that I don't want to be tyed down with some permanent job because I still want to go to Europe in Spring or Summer, etc. So, the temp job gives me freedom and I like that. I'm just glad I"ll be starting to make money (my first day is tommorrow)..I'm nervous, of course, as I always am when I start a new job, but I just KNOW I'll enjoy this job at the Willamette Valley Cancer Center and I don't think it'll be too much work.

Moving forward....Larry left work early on Friday and we packed up and were on the road up to Portland by 1:30-ish. It was a nice drive up there..chilly and sunny and we listened to music and I sang along and was feeling really excited to get out of Springfield! We arrived at Jody and Elena's place about 2 1/2 to 3 hours later (we didn't drive the whole time on the freeway, thus, it took a little longer, but I prefer those two-lane highways anyway. The 4 of us went to eat at some pub/restaurant, had some good bar food, drank a few beers (I only drank one, actually...I wasn't in a drinking mood this weekend)...Jody and Elena live on JOdy's parents property (his parents only live there 1/3 of the year)...There are several buildings...it's out in the country...really nice. Jody and Elena live in a small house, then there is the big, fancy house (which isn't in use much) and then this other guest house where Larry and I stayed...it was nice and cozy and private and clean and decorated kinda cute. Anyways, our initial reason for going to Portland was that Larry's friend, Chris, was having a Friday night poker/birthday party (no girls allowed)...so Jody and Larry headed off to that around 7:30 pm and Elena and I had decided we were going to go into Portland and maybe go to the Ash Street Saloon and see some rawk-n-roll later on. We had a few hours to kill, though, so we decided to watch "The Outsiders" from their vast movie collection. It was funny watching "The Outsiders"...as an adult I realize how cheesy that movie really is, but I still like it (even if I have to make fun of it!) By the time the movie was over, Elena and I were lame and decided we were feeling too sleepy and mellow to go out so I decided to watch "Con Air" (God knows why...jesus..stupid movie!) and I noticed that Elena fell asleep on the couch about half way through "Con Air"...so I went to bed. While in bed I was thinking "God, I hope Jody and Larry don't drink too much. I hope Jody is careful when driving back home, etc." Larry came up to our guest loft bedroom about 1:30 am. There had been an accident, but they were ok. Jody's car was a little fucked up, though. They were only about 3 minutes from Jody and Elena's when they hit black ice and slid off the road, taking out a few mailboxes. I'm sure Jody will work on fixing his dented front panel...he's a mechanic type guy. I'm just glad that nothing worse happened (They weren't drunk when they drove home by the way....black ice just happens to anyone, unfortunately!) It has been extremely chilly here at night.

Anyways, Jody and Elena were coming down to Eugene for the stupid football game on Saturday so Larry and I went by ourselves into Portland. I was so happy to see skyscrapers in the distance, etc. I saw the sign to Seattle and I almost felt like crying..I wanted to go to Seattle so bad, but Portland was good enough. We went to Powell's, which is a great, giant bookstore and I ended up buying a book called "Prague" (which is a fictional account of 5 ex-patriates who all live in Budapest and wish they were actually in Prague instead) and Larry bought some book in the

"Dune" series and I made him look at Gregory Maguire books (I love "Wicked" and "Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister" etc.) because I noticed his new book "Mirror, Mirror" (the re-telling of Snow White, of course!) and I really wanted it..and Larry decided that he thought it sounded cool so he bought it..which means I didn't have to! Then we drove up to Hawthorne and 30th or something like that and that was a cool section of Portland I'd never been to, cool eateries and shops, cool old houses...obviously one of the more trendy and expensive (but nice) sections of Portland. We looked around in shops and ate at some taqueria (where I drank my first Pineapple Jarrito..Yum! I love pineapple pop/soda!) After a couple of hours, we drove back to Jody and Elena's and watched an interesting documentary on OPB about the media frenzy in covering the JFK assassination (and the Oswald assassination, etc.) and then Jody and Elena got back from Eugene and prepared a great dinner of steak, chicken (in a pretty damn spicy marinade), cheesy-garlicky potatoes and salad. We all decided to watch "Better off Dead" and Jody knew practically all the lines and we kept telling him to shut up, but he wouldn't. It was actually pretty funny and I've always loved that movie. Elena feel asleep again about half way through the movie (we didn't start the movie until 10 pm)...and Larry and I went to sleep after the movie.

This morning I woke up feeling out of sorts and I've sort of been that way ever since. I don't know why...I had a perfectly nice time this weekend, but I guess my moood shifted. I mostly hung around in the guesthouse, being antisocial, and reading my new book until it was time to drive back to Springfield. When we were about an hour or more from Springfield I started feeling really sad (I have no idea why, as usual..just brain chemistry and depression...stupid, stupid brain of mine) and though I tryed to bite my lip and look out the window, I started crying. I cryed almost the rest of the way home. Larry just held my hand and we were silent. Maybe I shouldn't have been playing Interpol...it isn't the most cheery band to play, that's for sure! Now that we are home and everything I feel much better (and HEY! I got something from infrequency (check my buddy list, buddies!) in the mail..the new Dirtbombs Cd that he burned)...YEA! That made my day. Haven't had a chance to listen to it yet...but thanks, Ed!

Oh, on the back..I can't remember what town it was..I saw something (it looked like a trailer painted ornately) called the "Cowboy Church of Oregon"..I was sort of curious about that!

Well, I think this entry might be a little uninteresting and entirely too long and pizza is here, so I'll be going. Oh, and we ate Macdonalds 3 days in a row..isn't that gross?

do the jerk * do the frug