Yea. I just feel sad and depressed and bored and angry and every other negative emotion in the world right now and the hardest part is that I'm not even sure why I feel like shit. Did I make a mistake moving here? I'm starting to wonder. I can't find a job, there a few stupid problems with Larry...I'm just sick of it. But I'll tough it out. It can only get better right? I feel so emotional and upset right now (I think I'm trying to keep myself from crying, so I'm feeling anger instead) that my face is red and flushed, my blood pressure must be raised. In many ways I love living here, and in many ways I really fucking hate it.

I'm meeting Tracy for lunch tommorrow..that should be good. She is the one constant good thing about this place.

Went to the mall (got lost and ended up the other "Gateway" shopping center first, though) and saw a cheap showing of "Seabiscuit" ($1.50 movies..can't beat that)..."Seabiscuit" was very mediocre. I don't know why anybody would think it should win an Oscar. It was just typical Hollywood stuff. Then again, I just finished the book, which was so much better and more satisfying. I think I'll stick with indie films from now on.

I know I don't need to be a slave to my emotions. I could CHOOSE to just not feel all these shitty feelings, but I just can't seem to do it...i'm in a sink hole. Fuck it.

Sent ANOTHER resume out for a billing job. I doubt I'll get it. Maybe I'm not meant to do medical billing here, but what sort of job should I get? I don't want to work in the mall or at Blockbuster..FUCK!

Also, I signed up with Accountemps over 2 weeks ago and I've called the lady who "interviewed" me 3 times now I think (or maybe twice) to let her know I still desperately need work. She hasn't even CALLED ME BACK> What the fuck?

do the jerk * do the frug