I was feeling pretty restless last night and I couldn't sleep so I got up and went to Jim's Landing where Tracy and Hans are always playing pinball (they are addicted!) Anyways, now Larry is pissed at me because I came back and slept on the couch in our room. Oh well....I'm also wondering if I hurt his feelings. You see, we have already settled into this nice "married" like routine and sometimes it freaks me out. We get into bed and read side by side and then after awhile we turn out the lights, have sex and he goes directly to sleep and I find myself lying there, restless, unable to sleep for hours. This happens EVERY week night. Well, last night I was irritated about how I was feeling confused about the whole thing so I got out of bed and Larry basically forced me to tell him what was wrong and so I told him how comfort and routine scares me because in my past it ALWAYS leads to boredom and I just told him how I felt and he said he understood and he had no problem with me going out. I don't know why he'd care so much if I decided to sleep on the couch when I came home. I did it because I didn't want to wake him up by getting in bed, tossing and turning, etc. I think he took it as some sort of weird rejection on my part (I can sort of understand how he might feel that way) but I was just trying to be considerate of him. Anyways, I could tell he was upset with me when he left for work this morning. I got up from the couch and got into our bed just as he was leaving and whenever he leaves for work he ALWAYS leans over and kisses me goodbye but this morning he just ignored me, was halfway out the bedroom door when I said "Oh, goodbye!" and he mumbled (rather coldly) "bye"...strange. We haven't "fought" before this. Anyways, I just talked to him on the phone a little bit ago and he admitted he's a little upset with me but he didn't want to talk about it at work. I'm sure he'll get over it, it's just strange for us to have bad feelings between us. I think once I get a job I won't be so restless and feeling kinda bored and confused, etc. Though on one hand I really LOVE having no job and sleeping as late as I want and doing whatever I want, but this lack of structure is starting to drive me a little crazy at times (jesus...I've only been down here a WEEK!) I need to give myself some time to adjust..duh!

do the jerk * do the frug